After And Never|| Kim Taehyung

-16-

My eyes slightly widened.

I thought about the last time he was at my house—that unfinished conversation. I didn't know what to say. This giant left me speechless.

I never knew what to feel around him. Like I said, he was a mystery that I didn't want to solve. But now, I kind of wanted to solve him out.

Taehyung smiled. He seemed so sad and full of pain.

"I asked you, are you okay?" He asked again.

This person, he was giving me mixed feelings.

"I'm fine"

Those words, I've said them so many times.

"He can't tell if you're lying when you say those words, but I can. You're lying right now, Han Haeyeon. You're not fine—neither am I, but Jimin and Sumi are"

Again, he left me speechless.

He sighed and looked down, then back up at my eyes that were telling him that I was confused and didn't know how to respond.

"Why must you be in pain when the one you love isn't?" He asked.

This time my eyes open wide. He chuckled bitterly.

"I know you like him, Haeyeon. You can't hide it from me—the way you look at him, the way you talk about him, and the way you allow yourself to get hurt because of him. It's obvious. It's just that that guy is oblivious to it"

I stared at him for a long time. How was it that this person, this person right in front of me, knew all of this about me?

"You like him, Haeyeon. Why don't you just tell him? Won't that just end your pain?"

I sighed and broke eye contact with him.

"It's none of your business" I said.

Taehyung stood up and towered over me.

"Yes, it is" he said in a serious tone.

I scoffed and looked up at him. I stood up, pushing my chair backwards with my legs.

"How is it your business, Kim Taehyung?" I asked feeling slightly angry. I stared at him straight in the eyes, standing my ground.

"I'm involved in it more than you think, Han Haeyeon" he took a step forward.

His eyes, the way he looked at me, I've seen them before—the sadness and pain that flooded his dark brown orbs.

I stepped back in confusion.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

Taehyung looked away as if he were trying to avoid my gaze. He bent down and picked up his bag.

"I'm going home first. I won't be staying for dinner"

Those words were the last words that I heard from him that day and the last words that I would hear from him in days.

•••

I was sitting at the back of the classroom again. I was alone again. I was heartbroken again....wait I never healed.

I just sat there and watched Jimin and Sumi talk. They were both laughing and exchanging secret glances. They really liked each other, didn't they?

It had been a week since the last time I spent time with him and since I've last talked to Taehyung.

I felt more alone than ever. I had Taehyung to talk to me when Jimin wasn't here, but now even the giant didn't talk to me anymore.

Jimin and Sumi were getting a lot closer. I could see it, anyone could see it. Taehyung no longer hung out with Sumi. She seemed to have forgotten about him.

To be honest, I thought that she was like me. She was in love with Taehyung, but he didn't feel the same. She probably got hurt because of him.

She probably cried herself to sleep every night like I did, wondering if the pain would ever stop.

Fortunately for her, it did. She had Jimin now. But, me? I had no one.

It's okay Haeyeon, after the surgery the pain well eventually go away.

I tried to encourage myself. Since I had no one to help me. Why didn't I help myself? Maybe I could go through some self-counseling or something.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. I looked at the time. There were still five minutes left until class started. I pulled out my phone and hid it under my desk. I looked at the lit-up screen.

I had a text message from Dr. Kim. I slid my fingers across the screen and read the message.

Don't forget, you have an appointment tomorrow. Don't be late. I have something important to discuss with you and your parents. It is important that both your appa and eomma come. Please, don't be late. And, please be safe, Haeyeon.

I read his text message. I clenched my fists in worry. I had a bad feeling. I felt scared. Did something bad happen? Was there something else wrong with me?

I quickly pressed the home button, bringing me away from the message.

What's wrong?

I hoped that it wouldn't be anything too serious. The pain in my heart would stop after I forget Jimin, but would there be an even more painful life waiting ahead of me?

                                       •••

DING! DING! DING!

The lunch bell rang. Everybody rushed out of the classroom and towards the cafeteria as if their life depended on it. I grabbed my lunch and bag.

I made my way towards the sanctuary.

When I arrived at the library, I looked at the front desk only to see no one sitting there. I suddenly heard snoring. I furrowed my eyebrows and walked closer to the desk.

I tip-toed and looked over it. The librarian was sleeping on the floor. I stifled a laugh and shook my head.

Does he get paid for sleeping all day?

I began making my way towards my spot where I ate my lunch every day ever since Jimin left my side. I rarely ever saw him.

The only time I did were when we were at school. He stopped calling me too.

The day Taehyung stopped talking to me, Jimin stopped. I didn't think he meant to. He just....simply forgot about me.

I sat down on the ground and rested my back on the couch. I set my lunch box in front of me and pushed it away. I didn't have an appetite.

I closed my eyes and rested my head on the couch. I took in slow and steady breaths. Silence engulfed the room.

I couldn't hear the librarian's snoring from all  the way back here. It was so quiet, almost too quiet to the point that I could hear my crying heart.

I wish I could just leave this world behind already.