After And Never|| Kim Taehyung

-3-

I sighed and was pulled away from my thoughts when my mom grabbed my hands. I looked up at her, she was smiling through her tired eyes.

"Everything will be okay" she tried to assure me. I smiled back and nodded.

I hope so.

"Han Haeyeon?" A nurse called.

Mom and I both stood up and walked up to the nurse.

"Hello" she smiled. I smile in response.

"Hello" my mom said.

"Follow me" the nurse spoke.

We did as we were told and followed her down the white hallways of the hospital. If I didn't know better, I would've thought that this was an insane asylum.

We stopped in front of a familiar door before the nurse gestured towards the door.

"He's waiting"

We both nodded and walked into the office. When we got in, the nurse closed the door and left to do something else. Dr. Kim was sitting behind his desk with an unreadable look plastered on his face.

He was looking at some paperwork in his hands. My mom and I sat down on the big black chairs in front of his desk.

We stared at him while he stared at the papers. I sighed quietly.

"Get on with it, Old Man"

My mom elbowed me.

"Be nice" she scolded me.

What? It wasn't like he minded. We were close anyways. He was the one that operated on me. He was like the older brother I always wanted.

Enter sarcasm.

"It's not the time for jokes, Haeyeon" he said in a serious tone. My heart dropped as I felt my body go numb. I clenched my fists, feeling my fingernails dig into the skin of my palm.

I couldn't even register the pain. I was too shocked and scared at that moment.

The last time I had heard that tone of his was when I was first informed about my tumor so many years ago.

It can't be...

I looked at Dr. Kim with a scared expression, hoping that I was thinking too much. He was just joking.

This wasn't real.

It couldn't be real.

It can't be

"It's back" he said.

I tightened my fists and clenched my jaw.

Why?

"I-It's back?" My mom's shaky voice asked. Dr. Kim nodded solemnly.

"I'm afraid so. It's growing slower than before, but it's certainly there" he said.

"But, can we still remove it?" I asked, trying to not get all my hopes up, but they were already shattered when I found out that it was back.

"Yes, but we have to wait for it to be a certain size. And, I'm afraid that you won't be lucky this time" he said.

I felt my whole world come crashing down.

"What do you mean?" I asked even though I knew exactly what he meant.

"Your memories...."

He trailed off with his words releasing a big sigh.

"They'll all disappear"

Mom and I kept silent. This hit her harder than it hit me, but I had to stay strong in order to assure her that I wasn't a weak little girl.

I had to assure myself.

"All?" I asked in disbelief.

He nodded and sighed again.

"But, surviving it is what matters" he said.

"I know" I said quietly—more to myself.

It was silent for a long time. I tried to organize my thoughts and feelings.

What if I die?

What will happen to eomma and appa?

What will happen to....Jimin?

I sighed and stood up. "If that's all, can we go?"

"Yes, but even though it's growing slowly, you might start to feel some pain. I prescribed you some medicine, don't forget to to go pick it up. Okay?" Dr. Kim said with concern.

I nodded and smiled bitterly. I grabbed my mom's hand and dragged her out of his office.

It's back. It's back. It's back.

Those words kept repeating in my head.

I'm back.

Psh, it was like my brain tumor was saying, 'I'm back' I sighed and looked back at my mother who seemed to be in her own little world at the moment.

I'm sorry, eomma. I'm such a burden to you and appa.