The Curse on my Life

•2•

My hearts racing. Why the hell would the ambulance be at my house?

This doesn't make sense.

Mums not okay and again, it's going to be all my fault.

I see the paramedics racing inside and I follow.

"You can't be here sweetheart." Someone from behind me says, reaching for my arm. I pull my arm away from them immediately.

"That's my Mum in there, I'm sorry but you cannot stop me."

I turn back towards the front door when I see her. Her body is limp but it only took one paramedic to carry her out because of how small she is.

"What the fuck." I couldn't help but let out. The following paramedic gives me a shocked expression.

"Who let you over here?" The other paramedic asks.

"I did, I'm her daughter." I spit.

"Can someone explain to me what is going on?" I question, kind of annoyed no one has said anything yet.

"We received a call from a family member that your mum collapsed while they were on a call together."

I had a little think about that and assumed it must be my Aunty Louise.

"Apparently she gave some really bad news and was acting really strange on the phone before she collapsed and stopped talking."

I must've had a really confused look on my face because she finished it off with. "Your mother has appeared to overdose."

-.-.-.-

Sitting in the emergency waiting room sucks. I hate hospitals. They're so bright but daunting.

The last time I was in the hospital was when I was 12. My older brother was in a horrible motor bike accident that sadly resulted in him passing away. It's been 6 years since that day and ever since, I've never wanted to be in a hospital again.

I push those thoughts aside and think back to my mum.

Why would she try to overdose?

I'm too mad to be upset about it right now.

Was it because I said I hated her? She knew I didn't mean it. I was just mad. I'm still mad but I think I'm more mad at myself.

What if I caused this? What if I drove her to try to commit suicide? My stomach churns at that thought.

I continue to sit in silence while all these thoughts go through my head. I just don't understand this whole situation. Mum and I just had an argument. It wasn't the first time we've fought.

Finally, someone brings me away from my over thinking mind.

"Delilah?" A familiar voice calls from across the waiting room. I look up to see my Aunty walking towards me. She hugs me and asks me if I'm okay.

I reply with a shrug and sit back down. I didn't know what else to say. Maybe, 'no, my Mum just tried to kill herself, why the hell would I be okay?' But I couldn't say something like that to my Aunty. We get along to well for me to be rude to her.

"Delilah, I know it's hard with the bad news and with what your Mum has tried to do but all we have to do is be there for her right now." She says, sitting down beside me. Her face is red and puffy but I can tell she's just trying to act strong for me.

"What bad news does everyone keep talking about?" I ask. Is it what Mum was trying to tell me before I walked out? Most probably.

"Your Mum hasn't told you?"

I think bad to our fight again and just remember how she said she needed to tell me something. This creates a guilty feeling inside me and I couldn't help but start biting my nails because of it.

I shake my head. What could it be? She's been sick lately so maybe she has an infection or something that won't go away. It can't be worse then that right?

Well, at least that's what I'm hoping for. I take a deep breath as I wait for my Aunty to tell me what the news is.

My Aunty's face goes white when she's me shake my head and her eyes tear up. She seems to be trying to get her words out.

"I really did not want to be the one that has to give the news but-"

She pauses, like she's choked on her words or something. I really want to shake her and say 'but what?!' but I don't. I wait patiently and finally, the rest of her words come out of her mouth.

"Clara has pancreatic cancer and has to start chemotherapy but there is no actual cure."

My heart literally feels like it stopped for a few seconds. So she's going to die? I thought.

"Does she have long?" I ask. She shakes her head slowly and starts to cry.

"It has spread to many parts of her body." She says. "It is why she tried the easy way out and just be done with because it is not going to be an easy journey for the both of you."

"Then why are they trying to help her if she doesn't want to be alive?" I ask. My anger has long gone away and now I just feel empty. I want to feel sad but I can't.

My Mum didn't want to go through this but they're trying to keep her alive? I don't understand.

"Because of me." She says. "I asked them to help her."

I couldn't help but feel angry again. "You don't get to make those decisions!" I shout. "She didn't want this but because you want your sister alive, you decided this was best."

Other people in the waiting room stare. My Aunty doesn't say anything. She looks at the floor, in silence which makes me more angry.

"You're going to be the reason my Mum goes through this horrible journey!"

I rush out of the waiting room. I don't want to be in there anymore. My eyes water, blurring my vision. I try to blink it away but it keeps coming back.

Although it was blurry, I could see something in front of me all of a sudden. I fall to the floor.

I wipe my eyes with my shirt but I don't move off the floor. I look up to see a guy crouching down in front of me.

"Oh my, I am so sorry!" He says. I grunt and look back down. "Are you okay?" He asks.

"Does it look like I'm okay?" I snap. He sits on the floor with me. "Do you mind?" I ask. He knows I'm clearly not alright so why is he not leaving me alone.

I look up at him again to see he's wearing a nurse uniform. His name tag reads 'Flynn Dodd'.

"It looks like you're having a rough day." He says. I ignore him. I'm too annoyed to talk to anyone.

"Wait a second, you're the girl that had a bit of an attitude with the paramedics." He laughs.

"You know about that?" I ask. Surprisingly, he's calming me down. He nods.

"So you know why I'm upset then." He nods again.

"It's not easy, I lost my Dad to suicide when I was only 3 years old." He tells me.

"I'm sorry." I say. He shrugs.

"It doesn't sadden me anymore." He just smiles at me and stops talking about it. He looks at his watch and gets up off the floor.

"Well my lunch break is over, I need to get back to work but I hope you're going to be okay." He says. He helps me get up from the floor before he walks off. I watch him walk towards the emergency room when he turns around.

"I just realised, I'm actually the nurse for your Mum." He says. "Would you like to come see her, family are allowed in now."

I nod my head before following him to go to my Mum's room.

Flynn has really managed to get my mind off things which is a hard thing to do.

I take another deep breath, I don't know if I'm ready to see my Mum like this.