Lost

Chapter One

It's strange how life never goes how you planned. I never planned for my father to die when I was just nineteen, nor did I plan for my mother to only three years later. These events only let my mind wander. Why do bad things happen to good people? I had good grades my whole life, I never did anything too bad. Why can't I just exist and never feel a thing? Never feel love. Never feel pain. I would rather be numb to everything in this world than feel my heart ache.

After my mom's death, I flipped my shit. I left America in hopes of finding some sort of peace somewhere in this world, but I couldn't. I have traveled to Australia, Asia, even Japan, but I can't calm my nerves after the tragic news. At night, I would call her phone just to hear her voicemail. She was my best friend, and now she is gone.

That's what brought me to London. I decided to become a editor because I enjoyed writing so much, so here I am. I work part-time for Taylor Publishing. It's a great job, and I love the people I work with. I am being trained by a nice lady named Gemma. She is only a couple years older than me, so we get along well. When I'm not working at Taylor Publishing, I work at the local library. I'm a book junkie, so this is practically my dream job. I get to sit in a building full of books for hours. It gets my mind off my tragic life, so I enjoy it.

"Good morning, Jackie!" The secretary, Chrissy, chirped as I walked in. Chrissy was a middle-aged lady, and she was one of the nicest people you could meet. "Did you finish the book yet?" She asked me.

"Yes, it was brilliant writing," I said with a smile, pouring a cup of coffee and adding vanilla cream. Chrissy loved reading, so after-hours we started a little reading challenge. We would recommend books to each other, and it was fun. Even though she was probably thirty years older than me, I enjoyed talking to her.

"You can choose the next novel," Chrissy said, and I nodded, waving to her before I walked down the hall to the offices. Our offices were only separated by plastic walls, so it was very open in the large room. Beside my office was Mark, and he was around my age. He is really quiet and doesn't talk much, but he seem nice. Infront of my cubicle is Kyle, who is loud and the comical one in the office. He always knows how to pull a joke. And beside me is Gemma, my best friend. Behind me was Chris, who was just as loud as Kyle. It was hard being inbetween two of the most talkative workers, but I never left work without laughing. The company was very big, but there was only a handful of people in the editing department. I set my bag down, Kyle and Chris in a heated conversation about the latest football match. I don't watch much football, but I knew most of my co-workers felt strongly about it.

Later that day, I was relieved when the clock finally ticked to 12:30, which was our lunch break. I loved my job and all, but it was stressful reviewing so many manuscripts in such a small amount of time. As I stood, I heard Gemma's voice behind me.

"Hey, Jackie, I'm going out to lunch. Would you like to come with me?" Gemma asked, her eyes hopeful.

"I was planning on just staying here for lunch," I said, looking towards her.

"Aw, come on! I want you to meet my brother finally!" Gemma said, smiling. I smiled, nodding after a few moments of thought. Gemma had invited me to her house once before to meet her brother, but I had to decline because I had work that night. I couldn't say 'no' again.

Gemma and I drove to a small Japanese restaurant. I loved Japanese food, but the restaurants outside of Japan never tasted completely authentic except for this particular restaurant, which is why I loved coming here. I walked into the restaurant behind Gemma, and it didn't take me long to recognise her brother as he stood, hugging his older sister.

"Hey Gems!" He said with a charming grin, "who is this?"

"This is my friend from work, Jackie," Gemma explained.

"Oh, I remember you telling me about her!" Harry said, "it's nice to finally meet you!"

"You too, Gemma has told me so many stories," I said, grinning as my mind wandered to all the embarrassing stories Gemma told about Harry when he was younger.

"Hopefully not anything too embarrassing," Harry said, shooting a playful glare to his sister, laughing with us. We sat at a round table, ordering our meals. "So, tell me about yourself," Harry said, looking towards me. Shit. Why is it that anytime someone tells me this, I completely lose my mind. What does he want to know? How I ran away from my cosy Oregon home? How I dropped out of high school? How my parents died and my sister ruined my life?

"What do you want to know?" I asked after a second, a smile playing on my lips.

"What do you like to do?" He asked, his chin leaning on his fists, looking towards me.

"I like to read books," I said, "I guess you could say I'm a book junkie."

"Harry, I'm not even kidding. If you thought I enjoyed reading, you should see Jackie's apartment. She has a full wall of books. It is like a library." Harry grinned, glancing back towards me.

"You don't have an accent," he pointed out, staring at me.

"What?" I asked, unsure what he was talking about exactly.

"Are you from England? You don't sound like you have an English accent," he explained.

"Well, I'm from Oregon. I moved here a few months back," I explained, looking towards him.

"Why would you want to leave America?" He asked.

"I wanted to work here," I said, though it seemed unlikely that I would travel across the world just to work at Taylor Publishing, when they had branches set up across the world. I knew Harry didn't believe me completely because of his suspicious smirk, but he dropped the question anyways. It was silent for a moment before Harry spoke up.

"Gems, mom called me earlier. She wants us to come over for dinner or something," Harry said lightly.

"I have to work late tonight," Gemma said, and I didn't really listen. I glanced down at my hands, my mind wandering to Oregon. I loved my home, I just couldn't stay after everything that happened.

"For Christ's sake, you have been working late every day this week," Harry said, leaning back in his chair.

"Well, I've also been training two new workers, so I just have to figure out a way to balance my time," Gemma responded. I felt guilty as I listened to them, because Gemma has been working hard on training Mark and I. I know it is her job and all, but it was now obvious it was cutting into her work time.

"Whatever. Mom is going to be upset," Harry said, rolling his eyes slightly. Gemma fell quiet, glancing towards me. She rolled her eyes, making me chuckle. I was an only child, but when my mother re-married after my father, I had a step-sister. I never even spoke to her, because she was a few years old than me at the time and in college. I always wanted a little sister, but I beer did. I guess you could say I liked seeing big families, just because I always wanted a big family.

Gemma and I drove back to our building after we finished lunch, talking about the recent episode of The X Factor. Gemma and I followed this show like it was our religion.

"If he doesn't win, I think I will just crawl in a hole," Gemma said, making me laugh.

"You and me both, we can bring some Starbuck's and some films and we can just stay in our hole forever," I said, smiling. Gemma laughed. Gemma was my best friend, but her brother on the other hand, I didn't care for too much. He seemed cocky and too prideful in himself. I know I am not one to judge, but I didn't really like him. I always heard the saying opposites attract, but I never believed it, especially after today. Harry and I were so different, it was almost intolerable to sit with him over a meal. I guess you could say I hoped for some sort of spark between us, simply because I was desperate for a boyfriend. During my college years, I dated a boy named Matthew for three years when I finally caught him cheating. I was devastated. Slowly, I am losing hope in ever finding someone again.