Under The Surface

3

I closed my eyes and started to let my mind run wild without me trying to stop it. I imagined myself at my house, all alone. I was in my bathtub and crying. All my tears falling into the water. Making them seem like nothing. Suddenly I grab my razor and take it apart until I only had the blades. Thats when I... Wait, what was I thinking? I could never try to harm myself! What would my mother think? She would be all alone! Nothing to live for! Hey... don't think like that, you aren't the only thing that must matter to mother. I tried to coo myself into thinking. It wasn't the first time i thought about this kind of stuff. I didn't feel right it made me feel so...uneasy. I retreated my legs out of the water. I was cradling myself into my happy place. Damn it! I didn't really have one...but maybe, this place could be my happy place? It was very beautiful. There was trees on the side of the water, the water was a deep blue but it wasn't very dirty, there were fish swimming all about, and the grass was as green and healthy as ripe vegetables. Somehow I felt at ease here. I would love to find a cute boy and show him to this place. I bet this would make a cute date. I wasn't ugly but I didn't really socialize. I was a pretty introverted person, I kept to my studies but lately it's been hard to keep up with my grades...I closed my eyes once again but I didn't think this time. I just slept and it felt good to finally get some sleep without waking up every few hours...