As I stand here, feeling the cold autumn air blowing strongly on my body, I reminisce on the past year. The first time I saw his blue eyes with small flecks of green mixed in his iris. His infectious white smile that brightened my day. The cute dimples that dominated his face whilst he talked. I think about his laugh and his need to throw back his head in extreme amusement. My heart is breaking with these precious memories but I need to remember him, I need him.
I'm walking down the train tracks as I often do when I need to clear my mind. I try to balance on the steel metal, but eventually decide to walk on the dirt ground.
I check my phone, I have five minutes left. I breathe in the smell of the forest. The air is moist and the smell of moss is strong. I am surrounded by forestry and railway tracks. The area is quiet and soothing. This is the last scene I will see. It's pleasant. Although, it could be worse.
I stare into the sky and blind myself with the luminous sun. The sky is clear with a small amount of clouds. I wonder if he is watching me right now, he is probably making a joke about my messy hair. Or perhaps he is judging me on my decision to give up.
"I love you, Nick," I shout to the sky, to him. I blow him a kiss.
I glance at my phone for the last time. I have a minute remaining. I quickly place my diary and phone near the tracks.
Not much longer now since I can hear the trains loud whistle.
Death is a curious thing, I've always thought. Does it hurt? I personally think it does because what if you're having a heart attack, you can actually feel the skipped beats of your heart. The palpitations of your heart dimishing. The feelings are tortureous. It's the suffering that makes death painful. And that is why I have chosen to leave like this. Getting hit by a train is fast and painless, or so I hope. I close my eyes. I'm expecting the impact to be sudden.
~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~
A/N
I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of my story. If you enjoyed this, please vote and read the next chapter. The chapters will get longer, I promise!
You are amazing!
Sincerely,
shannon :D
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(PENDING DISCONTINUATION) The Charlie Diaries
Teen Fiction(PENDING DISCONTINUATION) Charlie struggles to find a balance in her life as she is severely depressed. With the recent move of her older sister and the start of her senior year, she has never felt more alone. Her life is on downward spiral of distr...
