Crippled Hearts (on hold)

Chapter 4: Back to hell

The next few days went by in a blur. We spent them relaxing, shopping, going out or going to the beach, and sometimes Carter and Jordan would join too. The best days were the days spent with either just Laura or Luke too, otherwise the level of conceited testosterone got a little overwhelming. Aunt Claire and uncle William worked mostly since they were hard workers and their jobs were demanding but they still carved out time to spend with us for dinners and breakfasts some days, that's what I respected about them. My parents tried to spend a lot of time with me but they were often on week business trips where I would be left to stay over at the Matthews' household or with a many at home. I never despised them for it though as they would make their little time with me precious and I appreciated their hard work that created a good living standard for me. The only downside was that I was a single child who had to deal with it alone.

Sadly our summer holidays couldn't last forever. That is if you were a prisoner of the concept forced upon teenagers called school. Yeah, I may enjoy some of my subjects and believe that an education is important but school was the reason that you had to wake up at ungodly hours and just for that, I despised it. I was usually never a morning person, add on to that the nightmares and I'm a demon from hell when it comes to waking up early. But I guess this demon now has to go back to hell soon.

The nightmares came back after I settled down at the house. Not every night but every odd night. Some were okay and I would either endure them in my sleep or I would wake up panting and trying not to wake up Laura while others were worse, one night I actually woke up screaming. I thought back to that night.

"STOP! I'm sorry! I didn't mean for it to happen! No, Dylan pleas-" I was being shaken.

"Alex!"

"Wake up, please Dylan!"

"It's all your fault." The voices taunted, making my heart beat faster as tears poured down my cheeks. "This is because of you." I clenched my fists, the blood dripping from my hands but it wasn't my blood, that's what scared me the most.

"I'M SORRY!"

"ALEX! Wake up, you're okay." The voice ripped through my subconscious as I was shaken awake. I looked at Laura and Luke staring at me worriedly.

The cold sweat ran down my neck, my hair bunched and knotted. There was tears pouring out of my eyes and my heart felt like it was going to rip out of my rib cage at the speed it was beating. I stared down at my bloodless hands, willing, praying for the vivid imagery of the nightmares to leave my mind. But it was no use, they would stay for a while until I was distracted or until the next nightmare. Therapists, yes plural since we hadn't found one that had helped me yet, told me that the nightmares were a figment of my guilt, they told me I needed to let go and forgive myself for whatever was haunting me. But no one understood why I felt guilty except for Blake. That I couldn't just let go and forgive myself, it wasn't that easy.

They pulled me into a group hug, trying to comfort me as sobs racked my body. I slowed my breathing and forced myself to get over the meltdown, they wouldn't understand my seemingly overdramatic reaction over one nightmare.

"Alex, are you okay? You screamed something in your sleep. Damn you scared us," came Laura's soft reply, her eyes drooped tiredly from being woken up.

"Did you hear anything I said or screamed?" I quickly asked, I was worried they would be curious and ask me to them the nightmare.

"No, not really only an 'I'm sorry'. What was the nightmare about?" Dylan looked at me, waiting for a reply, his eyes soft yet his voice still husky from being asleep.