Lately I've been crying.
You tell me to stop but I'm trying.
When you ask if I'm okay just know I'm lying.
I don't mean to.
I don't mean to.
I don't mean to disappoint you.
Listen best friend I have trust issues.
Don't mean to put you down I have trust issues.
You've been busy these days.
So I turn to drugs when I don't want to stay.
You say you have my back.
But when I come to you, you got nothing to say.
Why does it hurt me when all you gotta say it "oh?" Or "stop" why is it hard.
I feel so distant.
I feel so alone best friend can you explain to me...
Why do I feel like this... I ain't blaming you, fuck I am the one to blame bih..
I am drowning myself with these drugs.
I come to you cause I miss feeling love.
I come to you FUCK GIVE ME A HUG.
People say I've changed but i don't know if I changed in a good way.
Don't know myself anymore... don't want to stay... don't know what to say...
Fuck...
My only friends I have right now are these drugs.
My dad hasn't been drinking he put the bottle down.
My only friend I have right now is you I want a hug..
but I always am turned down....
I just want to see you humans aren't supposed to live like this.
I am so lonely fuck my life....
I'm so lonely I want to die.
I am feeling so much pain man I want
I WANT TO FUCKING DIE...
I'm so alone right now..
Fuck I'm so alone.
you don't even pick up the phone.
You say call me next time you feel like you want shit to end.
But you don't pick up man...
My only friends I have are these blades.
From razors and sharpeners.
Apparently I'm a sinner.
I'm a sinner.
Says on phora's hoodie that I bought can't you see I'm not better.
Cause I want to kill myself, when I'm depressed I take a shower.
Can't you see I'm cleaner.
But not my arms.
Not my thighs and ankles not my heart.
It's ripped out of my chest, broken apart.
Someone help me.. someone save me before I drown.
Don't let me drown.
Pick up your phone don't let me down.
Decline I'm fucking done... I'm so alone...
I'm all alone..
Where are my real ones...
They're gone..
Some are here but not picking up.
Fuck...
I understand you're busy.
But man I'm lonely.
These past few weeks life hasn't been easy.
I am ready to quit honestly.
But man I'm staying cause you're begging "ramneek please"
But should I stay? I mean do you even want me to stay?
Fuck sometimes it feels like you're pushing me away.
Few months ago it was the other way around.
But now I'm opening up and you would rather see me not be on the ground.
Not have my feet on the ground.
You want me to hang with the noose around my neck.
I am not assuming...
I am just wondering.
I am thinking.
I feel like you would since you're friends with those who don't fuck with me.
You say you won't leave.
But to be honest I don't believe you because I have trust issues.
My only friends I have right now are these drugs.
My dad hasn't been drinking he put the bottle down.
My only friend I have right now is you I want a hug..
but I always am turned down....
I just want to see you humans aren't supposed to live like this.
I am so lonely fuck my life....
I'm so lonely I want to die.
I am feeling so much pain man I want
I WANT TO FUCKING DIE...
I'm so alone right now..
Fuck I'm so alone.
you don't even pick up the phone.
You say call me next time you feel like you want shit to end.
But you don't pick up man...
My only friends I have right now are these drugs.
My dad hasn't been drinking he put the bottle down.
My only friend I have right now is you I want a hug..
but I always am turned down....
I just want to see you humans aren't supposed to live like this.
I am so lonely fuck my life....
I'm so lonely I want to die.
I am feeling so much pain man I want
I WANT TO FUCKING DIE...
I'm so alone right now..
Fuck I'm so alone.
you don't even pick up the phone.
You say call me next time you feel like you want shit to end.
But you don't pick up man...
My only friends I have are the 3 bitches I talk to.
I got internet friends too.
I lost a girlfriend I lost friends also.
I lost so many bitches but I only got these 3 bitches and I hope they don't leave.
I don't want to lose them please don't leave.
I love you, do you love me?
I miss you, do you miss me?
I only know Rae got my back cause I know Rae fucks with me.
I know you can fuck with me.
But I'm not sure about the other 2 who won't even fucking reply.
But nah let's be real if they didn't fuck with me they wouldn't be here.
If they didn't fuck with me they would say "I care"
I know how you feel you're scared.
I know you don't want to lose me too.
I know you want me to stay boo.
But it's hard man but I'm trying for you.
I need you.
When I get mad at you when you don't pick up it's because I want to talk to you.
Not just for me but I'm always curious how your days going❤️❤️
So stay here with me.
Don't leave yet just stay with me.
I know high school is hard take your time man.
I know it's hard dealing with me and homework.
And basketball.
But it's fine I can smoke this joint.
Drink my dads alcohol no I'm not being a cunt.
I'll do it to distract myself.
I know how you're feeling. ❤️
