Is this what it feels like. Just a deep empty feeling in your chest. It does feel painful, but my throat is tight and my eyes are burning. My cheeks are wet, but all I feel is empty. When I talk the pain comes and makes my heart ach with lonelyness. I feel alone....all alone. It feels cold and bottomless. The endless thoughts of what I could have done. The endless thoughts of death cloud my eyes. I try to push past, but it only gets worst. Every night my cheeks are wet with tears as I wait for you to answer. I stay up for hours, sometimes crying muself to sleep. I wait with my phone next to my head. I type ober and over and over again waiting for a "hey" or "bae", but nothing comes. The night grows colder with sorrow. My heart weakens and all I can think is to never love or breath again. Finally you answer. I reply, but wait again for almost a day never hearing from you. I talk to your friends, but they only tell me that they haven't seen you. I start to panic. Your dead, you left me, you stop talking to anyone, you are in trouble, ect. I never get to see you. I know it is only one day, but I only get to talk to you at night and when I do you only want pleasure. I just want to be with you. Spend hours with you. I never want to let you go afraid that someone will take you from me. Now I think you are gone. I know that all that time we could have been with each other. Why do you do this to me? You don't love me any more. Who would want to love me any way? I am only trouble. I cry too much. I show emotion. I struggle with feelings. I try to stay happy even when I am crying. I do what ever I can for you and others. I only get a break when I spend time away from my phone. I come back to only missery. As I write this I am crying. I am pouring my heart out. This is what this book is for. To pour my heart out, to help others know how I feel, to make sure someone else doesn't do what I do, every thing I say is real, I try my best to be honest. Thank you for reading. I hope you will get that you never know what a person feels like.
