I'll add more soon, this is just to fill space.
***
The week went by so quick, every single day full of laughter. It came to Friday and Callum had decided we needed to go out. I got home from school and hopped in the shower, washing away all make up, just to be put on later. I ran downstairs wrapped in a blue towel, ironed my outfit for that night and went back upstairs with it, I quickly dried my hair and chucked it up in a scraggy bun until I had finished my make up. I delicately brushed a warm brown onto my eyelids, a light pink blush onto my cheekbones, filled in my brows, made a flick with my eye liner, put on some fake lashes and finished it off with a thick layer of deep red lipstick. I took my hair back down and put it in tight curls, I would brush these out before I left as to leave it with a relaxed wavy look. I pulled my deep pink&black laced dress over my body and looked at myself in the mirror. I was finally starting to see a difference in my weight, and I was quite happy.
Callum turned up at my door, I quickly brushed out my curls as he spoke with Hayden about silly games on their silly consoles. I put on my suede wedges and the leather jacket Callum had bought me. We got into his dad's car and headed off to the restaurant he was taking me to, his dad asked how things were, Callum told him to get out of our business but I just politely smiled at him. He laughed and said "alright then, you kids and secret love lives, this is your stop, lovely seeing you again, Lillie" I smiled and thanked him.
It only took 5 minutes to get from the car to the restaurant, but every second seemed like hell.
"You've put weight on, what are you playing at?"
"Why the f*ck haven't you dyed your hair back?"
"You look like such a slag, why even think you can get into my dad's car dressed like that?"
I just ignored every question, which just made him angry. He grabbed my left wrist, and turned me straight around to face him. He got in my face. "I said, why do you think it's acceptable to go against me?" He was shouting now. I begged him to stop and just leave it until we weren't in public, but all I got was a red hand mark across my face. It stung for a few seconds, but he looked guilty, which gave me a sense of security. "I'm sorry, Lill, but I just don't see why you do these things. Look, we'll not go to the restaurant and just go home, alright?" I had to agree, I didn't want anything more to happen, especially not here where people can see. We went back to his dad's house, I only stayed for half an hour or so as I didn't feel safe, I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and began making my way back. I broke down. Right there. I felt so worthless.
I ran straight upstairs, got the blade, and began cutting again. I'd almost a week without feeling like this and he spoiled it all. The blood poured out, the same way it did a few nights ago. It worked.
