We could have had the world, we could have had everything,
But then all these pain and grief and misery just kept on coming.
I always take a look at my phone, hoping for your text,
Too bad I never got any so I just kept on asking myself, 'what next?'
I was never selfish and you know that's true.
I just couldn't help myself let you go out of the blue.
You were all I ever wanted, Al and maybe even more.
I really do hate myself right now, there is no one else more that I abhor.
Every time I look into the mirror I feel like punching my own reflection,
I don't know what to do anymore, I think I'm going into depression.
I can't sleep today because my eyes hurt too much every time I close them,
It only means I love you too much but then I let you go, damn.
I'm looking for the right words to tell you right now,
But I can't say them because it will make it even harder for me somehow.
I want you oh so badly to tell me 'don't go' and for sure I will stay.
It's a pity you never said those words, I guess it's my time to go away.
It hurts me all too much to have to go to that airport and board the plane,
Not because I'll miss the place but because I never got to meet the reason that I came.
All of those married couple never realized how lucky they are,
They have that forever with each other and can walk together hand in hand no matter how far.
You and I do not have that sort of privilage, what a sad life.
And the only vocation I had in mind was being your wife.
In my heart and in my mind I know you're the missing half of me.
It's a shame that what we only have now are images in our minds of what could be.
In the depths of my soul, I know that my life was made for you and yours was mine.
Now it's all over though, I hope and pray we'll both be fine.
But truthfully, I can't last a day without having to think of you.
I'm crying again hahaha when are these tears in my eyes due?
I wish the pain that I feel had an expiration date.
I wish that my being would get rid of the feeling of hate.
Hate for myself that I even had the guts to let you go.
When all I ever wanted was to make you feel the love I was oh so willing to show.
05/16/14
-Shayee
