Relapse: Hidden Bruises Sequel. (Vhope)

2

I laid down my bag on the floor of the dance studio where I taught hiphop dance. When i was recovering from my newly rekindled habit, i learned dancing as a way to distract myself. Taehyung said i was really good, so i applied to work here, the hours are pretty short, but the money is really good. Dancing used to make me happy, but recently its become more of a chore.

I fumbled around on my phone and waited for my students to show up. I taught them a few quick combos and a couple new moves. And finally, after what seemed like for ever, it was time to go.

As i opened the door, my two little babies ran up to me.

"Dads home! Dads home!" yelled minji, my youngest adopted kid. He was still small enough to be held so i picked him up and waved him around before setting him back on the floor. I acted happy, but even my own kids giggles couldn't make me feel better. I feel like a monster.

Taehyung walked out from the kitchen wearing an apron.

"Oh no. You're cooking" i joked. Taehyung is not the best cook in the world, so i usually make dinner. Im kinda glad though because I've been hating cooking for a while now. Everything i used to love has become so excruciatingly painful now.

" yeah dad. Daddy in an apron is never good" jihuan said to me. She looked up at me waiting for me to laugh, but i didn't. Her name... I need a drink. I looked away from her, not caring how it made her felt.

"Shut up you guys. I just felt like cooking today!" taehyung said. He pouted cutely. He's the cutest father ever. Minji laughed and pretended to vomit. Taehyung started tickling and messing with the 2 of them. He was always good with kids, i wasn't. Well, not anymore at least.

" hey taehyung, im gonna go to bed early today. Practice was really hard." i said.

" oh. You feeling ok?" he asked. He always asked me this as a way to make sure i haven't slipped back to how I was before. Even though i did he believed my answer.

" yeah. Just tired. It took those guys so long to get down that one move, you wouldn't believe it" i lied. Faking happiness was the worst, and im a little rusty after all these years, but i still got it.

" dad! Can you show us!" asked ... The girl. I just cant say her name anymore.

" not now. Im going to bed" i said with a tone that taehyung luckily didn't notice. " night everyone"

" goodnight!" said the kids.

" night baby" taehyung said. He gave me a quick peck on the cheek, then i went to the bathroom.

Getting out the razor from before, i looked at the bit of dried blood on the corner. I must not have cleaned it as well as i should have. I lifted my sleeve again.

Am i really going back to this? I thought as i held the blade on my skin. Fuck. I have to, I've already started again. What's the point in stopping now.

I pushed the blade down then quickly swiped it across, almost aggressively. I did that a few more times, making some slightly deep cuts. I saw the inside of my skin slowly fade to red in beads, then drip out onto the sink and floor. I cleaned everything up as quickly as possible, then i went to my room and closed the door.

I took out a flask that i hid in my drawer. I took a couple drinks from it then put it back, only to grab it again and take a couple more. The next time i put it away i was more than tipsy. I got under the covers on the bed, and fell asleep almost instantly.

I woke up with taehyung next to me. I checked my phone, 2 am. I looked to taehyung. Sound asleep as always. He was such a heavy sleeper, i could get away with almost anything i found.

I tip toed out of bed and to the bathroom, once again getting the razor. I knew taehyung wouldn't notice one out of like 20 blades gone, so i was going to find a hiding spot for it, but not untill after i made a few.light scratches. They didn't bleed to much so i just washed off my arm and left the room.

I decided the best spot would be to hide it in my bag. I took it with me everywhere, so having a blade there would be quite convenient. I just shoved into a hidden pocket on the inside of the bag. Once my blade was successfully attainted, i went to the fridge. I bought 4 12 packs of beer a couple days ago which i managed to hide in the fridge under piles of leftovers. Grabbing about 7 i went to the living room as always. I turned the tv on to a shitty comedy show, and got to work on my cans.

I cracked open the first one, and chugged it half way down. At this rate all of these drinks will be gone in an hour. And so, the cycle continues.