Tayley: short stories

The Truth Never Set Me Free So I'll Do It Myself

Narrative P.O.V.

Zac and Taylor were the first to show up for the band's rehearsal. Taylor texted the rest of the crew letting them know they were ready, while Zac, on the other hand, was in deep thought. Something had been bugging him since rejoining Paramore. This nagging question at the back of his head that had supposedly been answered, but it wasn't satisfactory. Why did Taylor stay in the band? Everyone else left, and Hayley was on the verge of giving up. Was it guilt? What was in it for Taylor?
Zac felt close to Taylor- he always had. Even when Zac left Paramore the two kept in touch. Taylor was always such a peace-maker. Nothing could come between him and who he loves. Zac admired that. He looked up to Taylor a lot.
He decided to ask.
"Hey, man,"
Taylor looked over at him while strapping his guitar.
"I was just wondering," Zac cleared his voice casually, "You know, why did you stay in Paramore? Don't get me wrong, I think you did the right thing, but I dunno it doesn't make much sense."
Taylor scrunched his eyebrows together.
"What do you mean?"
Zac was trying to think of the best way to not offend him (even though it was hard to offend Taylor). He tried rephrasing.
"What were your reasons for staying?"
That didn't seem much better, but if Taylor felt insulted he definitely didn't let on.
He shrugged casually, "It just felt right, you know? I love Paramore. I couldn't imagine my life without it."
Sure that was all true, but it was nothing new. It was the same story every time. But still, something didn't feel right. Zac knew Taylor his whole life- Taylor was holding something back.
"What about Hayley?"
Zac didn't mean anything by it. He only meant to pry the subject a little more. But then he noticed something. Taylor stood up a little straighter, he wouldn't meet Zac's eyes, and... was he blushing?
"What about her?" Taylor asked.
If that didn't raise Zac's suspicions, he didn't know what else would.
"Well didn't you also stay because of her? She's your best friend."
It was barely noticeable, but Taylor's expression dropped.
"Yeah. Yeah, of course."
They continued setting up practice in silence, but Zac's mind was racing. Does Taylor have a thing for Hayley? It couldn't be. Taylor and Hayley have been friends since they were twelve years old. Zac's brother Josh dated Hayley when they were in a band together and that didn't end well. Surly Taylor knew that. Maybe Zac was imagining things. Maybe...
"Taylor," Too late, Zac opened his mouth again.
Taylor tried to nod in a nonchalant way, but even Zac could sense that his nerves were through the roof.
"You know you can tell me anything. You're my best friend. You can trust me, man."
Taylor avoided his eyes.
"I know that."
Zac stood in front of Taylor.
"Dude look at me."
Taylor knew what was coming, but he looked at Zac with his best pokerface.
"Have you ever- did you ever..." Zac sighed. If he just asked and got it over with, this would all be over.
He spit it out,
"Do you like Hayley?"
Taylor scoffed playfully though he looked nervous.
"Yeah, Zac. She's one of my closest friends."
Zac gave him a glare.
"You know what I meant."
Taylor's heart was racing. What was he supposed to do? This may ruin everything. At the same time, he was so tired of keeping this dumb secret. He'd had a crush on her since practically day one. He got a septum piercing with her when she got too nervous to do it alone, he let her grip his hand when she got her first tattoo, and when all of her friends abandoned her and the band that they worked so hard on, he stayed by her side. He was there when she thought all hope was lost. And he was the one who stayed up all night with her just so she could vent and cry.
He loved Hayley.
And when she got married, it broke him. He didn't want to even go to the wedding, but Hayley needed her best friend to be there for her like he'd always been there for her.
He was too late. He never told her how he felt. He was so afraid of ruining things.
And now here he was, standing in front of his other best friend Zac, about to suppress his feelings once more.
For Hayley's happiness.
He wanted to lie and laugh at Zac's accusations. But something in him snapped. Not in a way where he would get angry with Zac and yell, "How dare you!"
It was a deep sadness and longing. He looked at Zac and tears filled Taylor's eyes. He sighed and felt his hands trembling, so he balled them into fists.
Zac's heart sank. How could he have been so blind? Of course he liked Hayley. The signs were all there. All of their past memories flooded back in Zac's mind and everything made sense.
"Oh man, Taylor..."
Taylor looked away. He'd never felt more ashamed in his life. The truth finally came out.
Zac didn't know what to say. But, like he'd been doing, when he found words, they were stupid.
"Taylor, she's married."
Taylor's hands were still shaking, but there was no point in hiding them anymore. He wiped his teary eyes quickly. "You don't think I know that, Zac?" Taylor wasn't one to let his emotions take over, nevertheless anger bubbled in his throat. "Do you not know how long this has been torturing me? For twelve years I've kept this a secret. For TWELVE YEARS I've told absolutely no one!" He was yelling now. What if Hayley heard him? He didn't care anymore.
"And do you want to know what the worst part is? I can't love her like I want to. I never will and It will eat me alive!" Taylor sunk to the ground in defeat and covered his face in his hands and wept.
"It will eat me alive, Zac, please help me."
Zac stood above Taylor in complete shock. He'd never seen Taylor this vulnerable and broken. He couldn't imagine how much torture Taylor went through all of those years loving someone knowing they don't feel the same way.
But they didn't know that for sure. For all Zac knew, Hayley could have similar feelings Taylor is having.
It wasn't news that Hayley and Chad weren't doing so well. They hadn't officially separated yet, but it was pretty much a done deal at this point. Hayley stopped wearing her ring and so did Chad- not to mention Hayley and Taylor had been spending a lot of time together...
Maybe, just maybe...
Finally, Zac knew what to say.
"Talk to her." He said plainly.
Taylor looked up at Zac, clearly confused. Talk to her? Maybe he heard wrong.
"What?"
Zac crouched down next to Taylor.
"I said, talk to her. Talk to Hayley."
Taylor shook his head and rubbed his hand against his face in frustration.
"You know I can't do that. She's married, remember? Besides, it would ruin everything."
"You don't know that," Zac stated. "You don't know it would ruin everything. Hayley cares about you, dude. The worst that could happen is that she says she doesn't feel the same way."
Taylor just stared at the ground.
"I've seen the chemistry between you two," Zac continued. "you both are the only consistent things in each other's lives. You don't know how she might be feeling." Zac sighed, "Taylor, if you don't tell her now it will haunt you for the rest of your life. You will always be wondering 'what if?'"
Taylor tugged at the hem of his shirt and sniffed. "That doesn't change the fact that she's married. It would be so selfish..." He trailed off.
"You're right," Zac agreed, "it would be selfish. But when was the last time you put yourself first? You're always looking out for Hayley and being selfless for her. You need to be selfish for a change."
Taylor finally met Zac's eyes, and there was something new in his them that Zac noticed; confidence.
Zac gripped Taylor's shoulder.
"It's been twelve years that you have suppressed this, T. I think it's time you set yourself free."

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A/N: heeyyy! so i'm not sure but i might do a part 2 to this story. idk it just doesn't seem complete.
anyways, thanks for stopping by and reading. i will be adding more soon!!

see ya :)