Cheshire Cat [[EDITING]]

12

The heat from Harry's touch still lingers on my skin and the heat from his body was still present beside me. The knot in my throat is so tight I don't think I could speak even if I could manage to string the words together. Why did Lindsay have to run her mouth? I felt the warm tear trickle down my face as I try to collect my thoughts.

"Are you going to say something?" Harry's voice is clipped but low.

"I am not sure what to say to be honest." My voice is merely a shaky whisper.

"Is there something to say? Who is he, let's start there." I can hear the edge in his voice grow harsher with each unanswered question that begins to cloud the space between us building pressure within the room.

My heart is thudding unevenly against my chest as I frantically think of what to say to him to satisfy his inquisitions. Why am I so frightened? Harry never asked me to be his, or even mentioned anything beyond what we were doing for the day. I had, well still have no idea what we even are to each other so how could he possibly be upset with me.

If I can't even convincingly justify my actions to myself than how am I going to begin with Harry? When I am with him everything goes out the window, my past, the future I just get so wrapped up in being with him I forget that this is reality, but was that a sufficient answer?

"I don't know. It's complicated." I breathe, the mattress rises and the warmth of his body beside mine is now absent. I hear rustling as Harry shifts into his jeans.

"I can't believe this is really happening right now." He huffs, and I can honestly say I don't blame him for being upset.

The pain in his voice leaves behind an ache in my chest knowing this was entirely on me. I force myself to sit up and face Harry. My eyes meet his pacing body.

"Harry." I can hardly speak through the nerves and pain that are slowly expanding in my chest with each second that passes, with each step Harry takes.

"No, don't do that!" Harry spits. His pace has halted and his eyes are burning into me. I gulp and feel all my muscles tighten just waiting for the breakdown.

"You don't get to Harry me. He is your boyfriend isn't he?" His voice grows more anxious, desperate for answers and I can see with each rise and fall of his chest that he is slowly coming more unraveled with each moment passing by that he doesn't have an answer. I can physically see him losing his mind before my eyes and the pang of guilt is overwhelming me.

"Yeah" my voice cracks. Harry bends down and hurriedly tugs his boots on.

"I can't believe this." Harry runs his hand through his hair and my eyes widen as I watch, not sure what I could do to salvage whatever this was.

I can almost see the flames behind his emerald eyes, through the tears forming in mine. I stand from the bed and take a step forward, but Harry recedes at my action.

"No, don't" He puts his hand up to stop me and his voice is thick with emotion that shatter my heart. I feel the tears trickle down my face as I take in his ruined state. How can I keep doing this to him?

"I, I risked a lot for you!" His hand fly's up between us as he points angrily towards me.

"What is this just a joke? Let's get Harry Styles to fall for me? I can't even look at you! And - and your boyfriend, he doesn't know?" His words are like daggers, unforgiving, piercing through me with each question.

"It's complicated!" I bite my lip to hold back any more tears, but they just mask my vision, so I look to my feet, wiping the few that fall.

"Chelsea's famous answer! I am not doing this. I can't keep putting myself out there to be pushed off the edge. You run back to your happy life with your boyfriend and I will see myself out!" Harry turns on his heels and attempts to make an exit.