Break the Chain

9: Old Habits Die Hard

"Hey Ali!" Jack greeted me as I walked into class. Automatically, I could feel the happy vibes just radiating off of him.

 "Hey Jack. What's up?" I asked as I plopped down in my desk next to him.

"Nothing but rays. Today is oddly warm and I loooove it!"

"Really? I hadn't really noticed..."

"Well I can imagine. You're wearing a thick sweater when it's almost 75 degrees outside. And you know the school isn't about to turn on the air," he had an odd confused look on his face. I didn't plan on having this conversation at school.

"I'm fine Jack."

"But I know you're hot."

"I'm fine," I harshly whispered to him. All I could think about was how to avoid having this conversation in front of our first period class. Jack had his eyebrows slightly furrowed like he was thinking deeply about something. His eyes never left mine as he kept his confused look.

"Ali..."

"What...?" Please don't do this. Please don't do this.

"Are you...did you wear that because you're trying to hide?" he whispered to me as he leaned in so no one else could hear. A hint of hurt came over his face before it quickly went away.

"Jack please just don't start this right now. Not in front of everyone," I pleaded with him with all I could but I could see it wasn't working.

"Alice this is serious. You said you felt better....I thought you felt better," his confused expression had slowly turned into a wounded one and that was the last thing I wanted to see. After the whole piano adventure, I thought everything would be fine and he wouldn't bring anything up again. But I was wrong.

"Yeah well one therapy session never works. I really hope you know that," I could feel the coldness dripping in my tone and before I even realized it was there, it was too late to take it back. 

Jack stared at me for a few seconds and then slowly turned forward in his desk. We didn't talk for the rest of the period.

By the end of the day, Jack and I were back on non-speaking terms. I quickly got the things I needed from my locker and slammed the door. I walked out the front steps and tried to walk as quickly as I could to my house but of course I didn't escape.

"What the hell, Alice. I cannot believe you," Jack walked in front of me and looked at me incredulously. I could feel tears about to form so I ignored him and kept walking.

Too bad he didn't give up.

As I walked, he walked beside me and continued to repeat my name. By the time he said Alice for the millionth time, I swiftly turned to him and yelled what.

"What do you want from me, Jack?!" I gave up on trying to hold in my tears and they silently fell.

"...I don't know. Honestly I don't know," he said, obviously surprised that I stopped ignoring him.

"Well apparently you do cause you keep saying my name!" I was mad. Mad because I don't like talking about this. Mad at him for bringing all of this up at school. But more than anything, I was mad at myself for making Jack mad.

"I want you to be okay. I want you to be happy with yourself for once in your life. That's what I want from you. That's all I've wanted ever since you told me about everything." He trailed of, clearly hurt and worried at the same time.

"You think you're the only one that wants that? Well you aren't so join the club," I said angrily. I furiously began wiping away tears and they were replaced with anger.

"Will you ever change?" Jack whispered and his eyebrows furrowed.

"I guess old habits die hard, Jack," I said coldly.

"I guess they do. Goodbye Alice," he said as he slowly backed away from me.

"Bye."

I had never been happier to be in an empty house. All I wanted to do was throw things and slam doors because I was so upset. So I did it. I screamed and cried and screamed some more and when I had calmed down, I saw Goobs hiding under my desk staring at me.

"Come here Goobs," I held out my hand towards him as I sat down on the floor. He was hesitant at first but he slowly started to walk towards me and sniff my hand.

"I won't hurt you. I promise," I scooped him up into my arms and held him close. I think he could tell something was wrong because it seemed like he hugged me back. I didn't know if that was possible but if it was just my imagination, it felt nice.

After a while, Goobs started wiggling signaling he wanted to get down.

"Alright, alright you're free now," I giggled and let him go. I stood up, slipped my sweater off, and made my way to the window in my bedroom. As I looked out at the trees and happy people walking down the street, I realized that I might have actually lost Jack this time.

For good.

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Well this might be shorter but the next chapter will surprise you guys cause I'm gonna write it differently so hint hint, cough cough.

Song is Closer by Johnnyswim because that song is perfect and everything they do is perfection. Please go look them up!

That's all for now peoples!

Diarra xx