Dare Trilogy | Book 3 Editing | ✓

2.19 | In The Past + Own Time

Posted on June 15th, 2017 | Edited on November 19th, 2018

| . . . C H A P T E R - 2.19.1 : I N - T H E - P A S T . . . |

He saved me.

The thought had been on repeat in my brain the drive back along with his question. How would they be different?

My heart had skipped a beat at the question, perplexed on how to answer that. I had no answer. While I felt closer to him than ever learning this about our past and the fact that Arnav was that guy, I don't know why I was scared. Not afraid, but just... this feeling that things would change. Just now, there was this comfort between us that I was not ready to sacrifice. I wanted to hold on to it for a while longer and I was worried going for anything more than friends would ruin that.

Was I even ready for that?

Maybe... Maybe my heart was but my body? I am not too sure.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

The next morning, I woke up to not find Kripa in bed next to me. I figured she must have woken up before me. Though I would rather sleep in, we were returning to Mumbai today. So, I dragged myself out of bed and into the bathroom for a quick 5-minute shower. Once I was ready, I walked down. Seeing mom in the kitchen, I asked, "Hey, mom. Have you seen Kripa?"

She looked up from where she was making Aloo-puri for breakfast. "No, I thought she was still sleeping?"

"No, she's not in the room." I tried not to worry her by making a quick comment, "Must have gone back to the hotel to pack. I'll text her."

"Khushi, wait." She stopped me and turned the dial of the stove on low. "Can we sit and talk for a moment?"

"Sure?" I replied uncertainly as that tone and expression was definitely serious. I only got that tone when I had done something to get in trouble for. But, I hadn't done anything recently as such.

She nudged me towards the dining table. Following, I pulled out a chair and sat. "Khushi... I don't know how to say this. I guess... I guess I'll just say it. I know this marriage with Arnav is not what you wanted. When we first found out, I was very harsh to you. Seeing your father get a heart attack and then... those days, I was very stressed, you understand? I know it's not an excuse and I am very sorry. I never had the courage to say it since, but I think I do need to say it now. You have to know that I never meant to accuse you for Sashi's health condition."

Seeing her teary eyed, I reached for her hands and squeezed them, "Oh, mom. No, please don't cry. You don't have to apologize. You have a right to scold your children when we do something wrong... and it was wrong of us to keep things from you."

She pressed her lips tightly, shaking her head. "No, beta. You weren't wrong. I should have been a better mother... even when Sashi first started talking about marrying you as a way to save his business, I knew how wrong that was but I still didn't speak up. I should have taken a stand for you... and when I saw Arnav do that... It may not have been any better, Khushi, but I knew then. He would keep you happy no matter what. We had been terrible parents to you but I was so sure then that you would be happy with him. Safe with him." She paused momentarily to look at me with such vulnerability in her eyes as if she needed that reassurance, "Are you? Happy?"

Was I? I did not have to think of it more than a second.

I smiled at her honestly, "Yes, mom."

"Good." She replied but sounded like she was mostly convincing herself that she had taken atleast one right decision for me. "That's good." Then she looked back at me with shame, "I know I should have told you about Aarav. Arnav had been upfront about that... I don't know, I thought that if you knew, you wouldn't go through with the engagement. It was selfish, I know, but we were losing our business and we almost lost Sashi too. I couldn't bear the thought of you..."