Ice Skating on Horseback

The Great Sub-Pirate

There was once a pirate who owned a submarine. His heart was so greedy, and his soul was so evil that ordinary surface treasure, found on islands and ships, did not satisfy his ambitions. He traveleld in the deepest oceans and seas to search for what no man has ever seen before.

The sub-pirate was traveling through Zadar, Croatia. His submarine was parked at the end of the beach. When people looked either him or his submarine funny, he zapped them with his ray gun. Then the other people at the beach then resumed their business. 

The sub-pirate opened the submarine door and stepped inside. He drove the submarine south and went down, down, down under the Mediterranean surface. He traveled faster and faster as he went south-east, and then he went deeper and deeper. The light from the sun was fading, the fishies that occasionally darted here and there grew darker and fewer in number.

The sub-pirate reclined in his chair with a paddle-ball in his hand. The weird parrot that kept following him around for some reason flew into the room and onto his shoulder.

"Yaarr!" roared the sub-pirate. "I thought I had gotten rid of ye, ya stinkin' landlubber!"

The parrot squawked in reply.

The sub-pirate sighed and looked out the window. It was really dark, now. They were really deep. The sub-pirate turned on the super bright headlights. He leaned close, his hopes high for what he might see. 

His eyes adjusted to the light, he rubbed his eyes, and......... nothing. Just an anchor fish luring a clownfish and a blue regal tang with a pair of goggles into his mouth.

The sub-pirate leaned back in his chair. He had raided many ships and plundered much swag. But all the doubloons didn't satisfy. He thought that if he found things from the deep deep oceans, his riches would grow vast. But ever since he got the submarine, he didn't find any treasure. Sure, he did see some pretty cool stuff. He saw a beautiful colorful coral reef. He saw a squid squirt black ink at a shark that tried to kill and eat it. He once saw a majestic blue whale, and heard its loud annoying song - woooooooop! wooooooooop!

But that wasn't treasure! People couldn't pay money just for the fact that you saw something rare like that! You had to take it! But the sub-pirate couldn't find anything to take.

"Arrrggg," he growled.

Suddenly the submarine crashed into something. The sub-pirate rose from his chair. The annoying, creepy parrot crashed into the window.

The sub-pirate peeled the parrot off of the window and peered into the ocean. He saw weird building with columns. The submarine advanced a little further and the light revealed a whole entire city hidden in darkness on the bottom of the ocean. It looked a lot like Ancient Greece. 

The great sub-pirate laughed deviously - har har har har - and rubbed his hands together. There was a lot of treasure to be found in really old abandoned places that nobody has ever seen before.

The sub-pirate shooed the creeper parrot away and climbed into his underwater space-man suit (that was what the salesman called it). He carefully opened the door and stepped outside. The water allowed him to move quite slowly, and it was very hard to see. He turned on his high-powered flashlight.

The very old underwater city was huge! It kept reminding him of a tale that he was told about in elementary school. He couldn't remember the name of it, though. The sub-pirate some algae off of a sign made of stone. Welcome to Atlantis, it said. Yes, that was it.

"Shiver me timbers," the sub-pirate whispered. Atlantis. Now he knew where it was, off the coast of Zadar, Croatia.

He ventured deeper into the city. The sub-pirate found a treasure box that looked suspiciously modern. He took a crowbar and pried it open. It was filled with ancient Greek coins and jewelry.