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With Seamus gone, things were never going to go back to the way they were before

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With Seamus gone, things were never going to go back to the way they were before.

Before, when Apple had a stable job lined up and Dean and Seamus were going to get married and buy a house.

But their lives changed so drastically when Seamus died.

The trio never expected one of their own to die young.

••••

Both young adults attended Seamus' funeral but were unresponsive and still in shock. Dean's mother made her cinnamon cookies and they put a hint of a smile onto Apple's face but everything felt do surreal to her.

It was almost like living in a dream, she could hear, feel and smell everything but she was unresponsive and nothing got through to her or registered in her brain.

••••

Both Dean and Apple were on the brink of death. The distraction stopped working after a while and the two just couldn't block out the pain any longer.

Each night before the two called it a day and went to sleep, Dean would write a note. He wouldn't let Apple see what was written nor would he tell her, only that she would find out in due time.

The two dealt with grief in different ways, Apple- having been through the pain of loss before, ran to numb everything. She could run for kilometers everyday, just to forget. Everyday she would run for hours, until she could no longer feel the pain and grief or hear Seamus' screams as he took his last breath.

And Dean- having never experienced a pain as great as this, just sat in the silence. Letting it wash over him until the loud crash of the waves of silence breaking became to loud for him and he just had to end it. End the constant ring in his ears that was Seamus' screams. End the constant nightmares that woke him in the night. And end the constant feeling of grief that lingered over him like the memory of a bad mood.

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