Wallflower (GirlxGirl)

Chapter Four

Dear Chris,

Something really, really weird happened.

There's a new girl in our school. A new girl! Nobody ever moves here, Chris! It doesn't make sense!

I heard she's beautiful.

Okay, nobody said she's beautiful. But I did hear she's "Really hot, dude" and "I'd tap that".

I didn't see her yet. I hope I will.

Everybody talks about her, of course. What else can they gossip about? Apparently her name is Quinn. It's a lovely name, isn't it, Chris? I hope she's as lovely as her name is.

No I don't, actually. Being lovely, here is.... different.

For her sake, I hope she's not... different. It's not good to be different here. Look what happened to Madeline. Look what happened to you.

I'm different, aren't I, Chris? I'm gonna end up like you did.

Sorry, that was rude.

Look at me, apologising to a dead woman. I should probably stop, what if someone finds out? I'll probably die. They'll burn me like a witch.

Technically, I'm worse than a witch, right? Being with women, I mean woman. Absolutely disgusting, they say. A sinner, they say.

Do I believe them? You'd probably ask if you were here.

I don't know, Chris. I wish I could say I don't, but... Maybe I'm starting to. I just... I hate myself. so very much. I hate everything about myself. I mean, have you met me? I'm clearly the most uninteresting, ugly, and shy person you'll ever meet.

How could you love that? Did you, really?

I don't think you did.

I would've said you used me, but what's to use?

Was it just a game for you? Did you have fun?

I hope you did, I really do. Because I loved you. Hell, I still do. I hate you so much for leaving, but I still love you like I always did, and I always will.

Look at me, being a pathetic lovesick puppy. Am I going to get over you? Probably, but who else would want me besides you?

Casey.