The next day I got up early than I had to kasi I just got a message from the hospital and they need me there because of an accident that happened kaya nagmadali akong mag-ayos at dali-daling pumunta sa hospital. When I got there, everything was so chaotic that I’ve never seen the hospital like this. Sobrang gulo. All day I’ve been running around doing surgeries here and there. It was a good thing that I don’t have any scheduled surgery that day. Mga madaling araw na the next morning, tsaka lang nag settle down yung hospital, puro check-ups na lang kaya I got some rest din kahit paano. I was on my way to one of my patient’s room nung nakasalubong ko si doc sa hall. He was busy looking unto some results kaya hindi niya na rin ako napansin, it was okay for me kasi we had our priorities straight, na our first priority would always be our patients. But seeing doc brought back all my thoughts last night. Ewan ko ba. Bakit ngayon pa lahat to nangyayari. Just when I thought that everything was going my way, then all these things happens. I really don’t need this right now. I just don’t know what to do.I was really confused with my feelings but I just tried my best to forget it. I don’t need this right now. I have a lot of things to do and a lot of things in my mind. So, eventually, nakalimutan koh din yun, kasi binabad ko yung sarili ko sa work.
Then nung movie night namin, as usual we spent the night together ulit. Wala na naging doubts from the other parties na the two of us our spending the night, mas nag aalala pa nga sila kung hindi kaming dalawa ang magkasama. Ganun nag develop ung trust nila samin. Parang they have already accepted the fact na mag best friends talaga kami and nothing can change that. The next morning, mas maaga siya umalis sakin. But he was thoughtful enough to prepare breakfast for me and he placed it sa may bedside table. I was so touched. After finishing my breakfast, I decided to clean the house, I’ve been busy these days and hadn’t had the time to clean. So I decided to clean now while I have the chance. When I was at the bathroom arranging all my products, I saw something shining by the sink, nung tignan ko, ung bracelet ni Pare na binigay koh sa kanya for our 2nd anniversary. Hindi ko ma explain yung feelings ko nung nakita ko ulit yung bracelet. I was happy na rin kasi after all these years nasa kanya pa rin to and it means a lot to me na suot pa rin niya. I wonder kung bakit hindi ko yun napansin. I was happy but also sad in a way. Kasi it brought back all the memories nung kami pa, nakakapanghinayang eh. It made me realize once more that we’ve been through a lot together.
After cleaning I just sat in front of the TV still holding the bracelet. Bigla may nag page sakin, I was needed sa hospital kaya nagmadali na ko, ewan ko siguro sa pagmamadali, sinuot ko na lang yung bracelet. I don’t know pero the whole day na I was wearing the bracelet parang I could feel the presence of Pare. I felt secured. Kaya parang nanghinayang ako ibalik sa kanya kasi ewan ko. Kaya I just kept it to myself. I’d give it back kapag tinanong na niya ko kung nakita ko ba yung bracelet. Ewan ko lang kung sadya or whatever, kasi after that, seldom na kami magkita ni Pare. We hadn’t had time for our movie nights and even for calls. Naging sobrang busy kaming dalawa so parang nag fade ulit ung communication but we try our best. At least an e-mail a week other than that,wala na. Well, I’d have to say I miss Pare pero I think it’s for the best. At least I have my space. Every night I think about my true feelings.Then I come to realize that it’s much better kung kay doc na lang ako and just keep my relationship with Pare purely as a plutonic relationship. It would be much better and sobrang laking iwas sa gulo. Kaya I’m glad na din na hindi na kami masyado nag spend time together kasi all the more I’m with him, the more my feelings deepen. So I told myself that this is what I really want. I have convinced myself na eto na talaga ang gusto ko and in time I would learn to give all my heart to doc ‘cause that’s what is right. Yun na lang ang gagawin koh dahil it’s for the best. Kaya nakayanan ko na so many weeks, almost months have passed without Pare. ‘Eh bakit na sayo pa rin yang bracelet na yan?!’ sabi ng konsensiya koh, kahit kelan talaga, my conscience always has something to say. Well, kaya ko pa rin siya suot at hindi binabalik, I have just decided to stay friends with him, hindi naman ako nag decide to shut him out of my life completely. At least, I’d still want something to remember the things that we’ve shared.
