His Last Promise

My Old Pain

I went to bathroom in a rush. I really needed to talk to Trasha because I am totally confused right now. But first of all, I don't even know how to call her!

Being the idiot I was and will always be, I screamed her name "Guardian! Trasha! Angel! Aburaba daba!" And then she came, she was so sad, I think she was sobbing because she was kinda sniffing.

"What happend?" I asked her in concern "Wha-what..oh this? Its nothing" she continued to wipe her tears off "Come on, you can tell me anything" I want to know why she was so sad "No,no its okay. I'm fine" she can't even look me in the eye "No, tell me what's wrong! I'm a girl and I know what girls feel and that language...its...its just unbaerable! Just tell me why you have that long face" she finally looked me in the eye, I leaned back a little "You do know the feelings of a human girl but not an angel" she told me. I was in deep thoughts, what's the difference? I'm dead and just came back to life to finish my unfinished business "Okay, I understand. But you still need a helping hand" I wasn't curious, I'm concerned.

"I'm going to sleep Trixia!" Nicolas shouted "Ugh! Okaaaay!" I acted like my tummy was twirling.

"Begin" I ordered with one word "Ok, but expect me to be a drama queen" Her tears fell back again "Just express yourself ok? Don't worry, you can cry all you want as long as you let out that pain inside you ok? Now, flow~~"

"About my name, you asked why Trasha and sounds like trash and I told you I have no time for story-telling. My parents call me a big garbage bag when I was living. Yes, I lived but I left and yes suicide is a sin but why am I an angel right now. My life began when my mother, 17 years old got pregnant. It was a mistake made by her and my father, they made love one night. After a few weeks, my mother felt unsteady and wierd. Then when she check it up I was there, means she is pregnant. She cried that day not knowing what to do, she kept telling herself this is a big mistake and that it isn't real, but I was there. She told her boyfriend when she got to school. He helped her and took care of her for 3 days, but when he got depressed, he left my mom. The day came, I was born and of course my grandmom knew about it. My grandmom planned that I will be known as the little sister and so I lived with it.

But I was abused by my known-big sister. I was physically and mentally abused, her single words threw me and broke my heart into a million pieces. Night and day I would cry, sometimes I lock myself into my room and not eat and my only company is scissors, knives, and blades held by my teddy bear. I cried with it and stare at the sharp and deadly things. I said to myself when I was 16 I don't want to be like my sister. On my 17th birthday I recieved the worst, most painful gift ever; the gift of truth that my sister is my mom. I ran upstairs and once again locked myself into my bedroom 'Can I sleep and never wake up again?' Yes was my response, I held one knife up and down my skin it cut through open. It made me goan for with it is the agony of pain. The stinging smell of blood hit my nose that made me sit, I continued cutting down through my veins and there, more blood tripped down falling. I sat right into the floor infron of my mirror. I saw my self slowly become pale, I watch my lips become violet, I watch myself die.

Before my last breath was breathe, my family who we're not know as my family came rushing up for me. Good thing I wrote a letter "I ended my pains and sadness, please no more abuse, please no more depression" was all that was written.

I opened my eyes realizing I'm in heaven, as usual they played my life but I simply didn't look. It contained horrible memories I didn't want to remember, it contained horrible people I didn't want to recognize. They set my chrges to live and rot in hell, acceptance; that is all I could do. As they opened the doors through hell, I heard a scream...or maybe a shout, it says "Stop!" We all turned our heads back "Can't you understand!? This lady doesn't know a thing! She suicided because all the trials you gave her failed her! You we're supposed to carry her!" The voice of a man was not behind us at all, he was all around us "nonsense!" A deep voice which I heard "She will be carried to the pit of fire because her name is not written in the book of life, am I right?" He was..unexplainable, he was so good and great you can't even tell "Actually, her name is not in the book but is in the unfinished and mindless" I completely don't know what they we're talking about." Trasha giggled.