Him

Episode No. 5

I hadn't hung out with Lucas alone since that night. It was currently mid December and his words still hunted me. We were celebrating Nadia's sixteenth birthday with alcohol and weed. Kids from our school scattered her house partying in the name of her birthday. It was nearing the end of the night and I was fucking wasted.

"I lovvveeee you soooo much Nadia!" I screamed hugging her. "Meee too! I love you both so muchh," Maxie hugging us. "Let's be lessssbian lovvvers," Nadia said as she came into the group hug. "As awesome as that would be its time for us to get you home," Marcus said. He and Lucas were driving so they couldn't drink, Casey had a drug and sobriety test at his job on Monday at SuperMart, the local grocery store. "I got Nadia, I'll take her to bed and try to clear the house," Marcus said. "Casey, get Maxie in the car," He said. "I'll take Daria," Lucas said. He tried to stand me up but I was to far gone and so he picked me up bridal style.

"You so strong Lucas! I can't believe you can me up!" I said. "Your really light," He replied. "Good for you, you havent met fat Daria," I said. "Fat Daria?" He asked. "Middle school Daria, fat Daria, sad Daria," I said. "I would've liked her just the same," He said putting he down to open the car door. "I don't like liars," I whined. "I'm not lying, I bet you were real cute back then," He said buckling me in. "Yessss yoouuu arreeeee, I know your type," I teased. "My type?" He said looking at me. "Mmmhh, blonde," I said. He laughed walking to the drivers seat, "Hair color isn't a type," He said. "Busty," I said closing my eyes. "I mean thats nice but small tittes got a place in my heart too," He joked starting the car. "White," I finished. He looked over at me, "Is that what you think?" He said. "Anything but Daria," I said drifting off.

"Fuck Daria if you only knew," He said driving off. "I don't like liarssss!" I yelled. "You fuck girls, Daria is alone, you lie," I muttered. "I haven't fucked anyone since last year," He said. "Why? Ran out of blonde cheerleaders," I asked holding my head up. "I wanna deserve you," He said. "Mmmmh nope," I said. "You like white girlsss, pink nipples and blonde hairrrrr!" I said. "Why do you think the only thing I care about is sex?" He asked. "You fuck girlsss," I said. "Nothing changed," I said. "I fucked girls cause I was sad. Got happy and realized what I needed," He explained. "Everyone is fucking sad, Daria hates herself but doesn't break heart like you," I pushed out. He was gripping the wheel hard enough to turn his knuckles white, "You made me watch and then you made me hurt," I said quietly. "Please tell I didn't hurt you, Please tell me you didn't love me, fuck Daria did you have feelings for me?" He begged.

"You did, you fucked a blonde cheerleader in front of your window," I said drunkly choking back tears. "Its okay, Daria knows pink nipples is what you like," I said. He pulled over to the side of the rode, "I was fucked up last year, okay?" He said. "I was knee deep in shit, I never ment to hurt you," He said. "I fucked them because they were available and it made me forget," He said running his hands through his hair. "I wanted you, I wanted you so bad I tried to forget," He explained. By this time I was crying, hiccuping through my sobs. "Your a fucking liar," I accused. "You neverrrrr wanted me, pink nipples is all you ever cared about. I never mattered, Daria is just an ugly stupid girl, a girl whose not your type, a girl who was pathetic enough to love you," I shouted.

"Daria is ugly, Daria was never worth your time, Daria's brown nipples are not what you want. Daria is not important," I sobbed. He looked at me realizing it was no longer about him, his eyes glazed over with tears threatening to fall he turned his car off. Grabbing a blanket from the back he pulled my sobbing drunk self into his arms, covered us and held me as cried.

And I cried

And cried

Until I was sound asleep.

The next morning I woke up in my bed wearing my pajamas as if the whole night never happened.