Traveler in the Dark

4

"Take care of Wookiee. And dad. Sometimes likes ear scratches. Uh— the cat, not dad," Rebecca handed the carrier to her sister. Angie laughed and her father grinned.

"I know, Beck. Don't worry, we'll all be here and happy when you get back."

"I'll miss you," she said, hugging her sister, and then her father.

"We'll miss you too," said her father. He squeezed her again. "And I'm so proud of you. Now go, before they leave you behind!"

Angie gave her a gentle push toward the flight ramp and waved. Her father turned away to blow his nose. Spixworth blushed as his own father crushed him in a long hug. Al Jahi cried as she kissed her little girl and stroked her boy's hair. The observation balcony was packed and Rebecca could see Peter and Celia Titov waving frantically to Andrei who was grinning, happier than she'd ever seen him. The Admiral shook Captain Stratton's hand, his speeches already over and the Wolfinger stood fueled and ready, its hatch standing open and waiting for them.

But Rebecca was not looking at the Wolfinger. She was looking back, at the Keseburg. At all the people she'd ever known. At the only home they had. Dented and scratched, the interior a maze of changing decks and apartments, the ship evolved around them generation after generation. She wondered if there was anything left that the original Earthlings would have recognized. After sixteen hundred years, it was doubtful. She marveled at the kind of courage it had taken to leave their world, to launch themselves away knowing they'd never see it again. Did she have the same courage? Could she bear to let it drift out of sight?

The Keseburg's band played an upbeat rendition of the ship's anthem and Captain Stratton climbed the ladder to the hatch. It was time to go. The sound of cheering was overwhelming until Rebecca stepped into the Wolfinger and the door latched behind Leroux. She strapped herself into her chair as Liu finished his preflight routine and Al Jahi asked formal permission to depart. The Wolfinger growled and hummed beneath Rebecca's feet. The doors of the Keseburg slid gradually open and the planet swirled gray and blue against the dark blank of space. She resisted the urge to flip the filament on and watch the observation balcony feed. No looking back, she told herself. The Wolfinger slipped out of the flight deck, free and floating and alone.

Dorothy Hackford began to hyperventilate beside her. Rebecca reached out and clasped the geologist's hand. "It's okay," she said, "this is the hard part. When we get there, you'll be so busy, you'll forget to miss it. Liu knows what he's doing, he's flown the Wolfinger dozens of time. It's okay, Dorothy. Take a deep breath." She rubbed a soothing circle on the back of Hackford's hand with her thumb. Hackford squeezed back and managed to slow her breath into shuddering gasps.

"Thanks, Emery," she managed. "It's just— when I was little, I wandered into Engineering once. My mom was talking to someone in Central and I followed a draybot to the next deck. I got distracted by the light from the hydrogen injectors. And when I realized I was alone, I was terrified. I couldn't find my way back. It was only ten minutes before someone found me and returned me to my mother, but I'll never forget that feeling. Until today, I never had to worry about being lost again. I know every inch of the Keseburg. We all do. Like the decks are the bones of our own bodies. But now— I've got that panicky feeling again. And I know if I lose my way this time, nobody's going to come find me and bring me back."

"Aw, Dorothy, that's not true. If you got lost, we'd find you. Might take us a little longer than ten minutes, but our landing zone is only a few miles, barely bigger than the Keseburg."

"I— hadn't thought of it that way. You're right. We don't have to cover the whole planet, just our little zone. That's not so bad, is it?"

Rebecca smiled and shook her head. "No, it's not so bad. You can do this."