Veritaserum Prank Wars

Chapter 3

"So you find Harry fetching do you, Draco?" Ron asked, and Hermione nearly slapped him. He was sleeping on the couch for a while.

"Yes," Draco ventured, looking to hermione for assistance. She ignored him. Harry sank down in his seat, clearly not understanding what was going on and becoming miserable. He obviously thought Draco was mocking him. She scowled.

"So, tell me Dean, how long have you and Seamus been shagging in the Auror Department at night?" Hermione asked, keeping her tone conversational. Everyone blanched and turn to stare at her except Draco who looked grateful.

"Two weeks," Dean replied, looking horrified at Harry who was now looking rather miffed,

"What?!"

"Oh yes, and Ron, how long have you been putting off the Greyback case when you've clearly had time? A month?"

"and a half," Ron muttered, looking as though he'd meant to refute her statement and then betrayed himself accidentally. He sank back in his chair, avoiding Hermione's pointed glare. Draco seemed to recover himself then and gave her a grateful look for drawing the attention away from himself, but she wasn't finished.

"Accio plaque," Hermione said, holding her hand out as Draco's Potions Master certificate flew into her hand. "You know who I've been thinking about a lot today? Severus Snape," she said conversationally, holding the plaque so no one could see it. "He was a very brave and clever man, excellent with Potions- was he not?" They all agreed and she nodded, "he also had a godson, did you know that?" she asked, there was a chorus of nos except for Draco and Harry who both said yes. Draco shot Harry a questioning look and everyone else seemed to look frightened.

"I believe," Draco said, eyeing the plaque carefully and looking sad for a moment before recovering, "that you had a bit of a serious crush on my godfather, didn't you Seamus?"

"Who?" Seamus asked, genuinely not putting two and two together.

"You wanked off to Severus Snape?!" Harry asked, looking scandalized.

"Yes, regularly." Seamus said, looking as though he were going to deny it. Dean shot his boyfriend an angry look. Hermione began to laugh and they all turned to stare at her,

"Just so you know, I was right. I've told you all a hundred times that you weren't being safe enough. You never observe your surroundings, not really. Not one of you do. You let things just slide by, right in front of your face." she stood, turning the certificate so they could see it, "what is this, Dean?"

"A Potions Master Certificate," Dean replied miserably, covering his face and looking ashamed as he realized what was going on.

"Yes, quite. And Ron, who's name is on it?"

"Draco Malfoy." Ron muttered, looking like a petulant child.

"Indeed it does!" she said, glaring at all of them, "Draco Lucius Malfoy, interesting. The godson of Severus Snape himself, and you lot honestly thought that you would get veritaserum by on him?!" They all hung their heads and she nodded, looking appeased, "Let's just pretend for a moment that Harry had asked Draco to interrogate someone like Frenrir Greyback? What if he'd given out important information, top secret information to someone like that just because you lot wanted to act like children?!" she snapped, standing back. Harry appeared to be livid with the whole lot of them and was fuming.

"Hermione-" Ron tried.

"No! I am not finished. This will go no further, as I'm sure Draco's brought the anecdote. Not only did not one of you, NOT ONE, notice that he was a Potions Master but you didn't notice the Veritaserum he put in your own drinks. You're all ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous! Trying to humiliate Draco, you've only humiliated yourselves, and poor Harry who had no idea anything was even going on. You should be absolutely ashamed and every single one of you had better apologize to him- *profusely*- by tomorrow or I will *personally* hex you each into next week! Draco, where is the anecdote?"

"At their desks at the Ministry," Draco replied. She nodded.

"Ron, Seamus, Dean- go. Get your anecdotes and I'd advise you to go quickly before I hex you all!" The three men did as they were told under her motherly glare and sulked off to the nearby Floos. "Honestly!" she cried, sitting down. Draco pulled another phial from his robes, handing it to Harry.

"Made extra, just in case. There you go, Potter."

"I'm sorry, Harry, I didn't realize what they were doing." Hermione said, sitting down, "or I'd have stopped it before hand." She shot him an apologetic look as he downed the phial and it disappeared, no doubt an enchantment Draco had placed on it.

"They're all going to drown in red tape and paperwork for the next month if they're not suspended," he croaked, covering his face with his hand.

"Oh, you two are not exempt from my wrath," Hermione snapped, coming to a standing position again and banishing Draco's certificate back where it came from, "neither of you is under Veritaserum now though you've both told the truth tonight. Quite frankly, I'm sick of you two circling each other and neither of you noticed it. You're just as daft as they are. You were obviously meant for eachother, and seriously just need to go somewhere and shag!" she stormed off with that one, dress waving a bit behind her.

The next day as everyone arrived and began work, Ron Seamus and Dean all groaned and protested at their desks, now covered with Harry's paperwork and all the cases he'd been behind on them. They each had a note from Harry threatening further action if it wasn't done by the end of the week. Hermione glanced around from her desk as two owls came in, one informing her that Draco and Harry had taken the week off, and the other from Draco with only two words. 'Thank you'.