Secret Wings [Remus Lupin]

Chapter 14: A Piece of the Past

Chapter 14: A Piece of the Past

I woke up the next morning very confused as to where I was. Oh yeah, I was in that room, I remembered. That mysterious room with a the art supplies and the big piano.

I wondered, what was this room? Why is it here? How'd it know all the stuff my mum liked? This is a very freaky room, indeed. I got up from the the sofa that looked exactly like one from my mum's art room. I wanted to cry again. But I was tired, so tired of the pain.

I wanted it to end, all of it. But I couldn't do it, I couldn't take the cowards way out. I was a Gryffindor after all wasn't I?

I walked over to the canvas I painted in last night. It was dark and depressing really. I sighed and ran a gentle hand over it. What would my mum think of me now? A messed up little girl? Thats what I was.

Remus didn't seem to think that though, when I was around him I didn't need to pretend to be happy. He made me laugh and smile, I loved it. I loved the feeling of being wanted and having someone who actually cared. I hadn't had that for 3 years.

My father didn't care about me. At least not until the end, he actually called me Angel, like he used to. I wanted to hate him so bad, but it's hard to hate a man who was hurting for the same reasons I was. He just expressed his hurt in a different way than me.

He hurt the thing that reminded him of my mum, me. I shrunk into my shell doomed to never open up again. Until I met Remus. I smiled to myself, I didn't deserve him. He didn't seem to care though, I have my scars and he has his I suppose.

I have seen the scars on his face and hands. I'm not blind you know. I wonder why he was so scarred, he certainly didn't do it to himself. Unlike me.

My stomach suddenly growled, scaring the life outta me. I sighed again, and looked for something to eat. Nope. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Squat. No food.

I wonder if I could get Mitzy up here...

"Mitzy?" I called out uncertainly. Pop! I squeaked and jumped, then I saw my little house-elf friend. I smiled in relief, "Good morning Mitzy, if it's not too much trouble could have the usual?" I asked politely.

"Yes of course Miss! Anything for you!" With that she apparated again with a pop! I jumped again, even though I was expecting it. I sighed to myself, running a hand through my hair to brush it out. I had no intentions of attending my classes today, I was going to take a day to myself. Yes, that sounded wonderful.

Pop! I squeaked and spun around to see Mitzy with my pancakes and...

Remus?

Wow, I did not see that one coming. I stared wide eyed at him, opening and closing my mouth like a fish out of water, struggling to find something to say. Before I could ask what he was doing here, he ran up to me and hugged me right around the waist. I stood there stiff and rigid, my heart beating a million miles a minute.

I wasn't used to being touched by other people yet, the feeling of a hug was foreign. I stiffened and sucked in a tight breath. Seeing I wasn't hugging him back Remus let go, but I quickly pulled him back to me.

I realized that I had a love hate relationship with touching people. I was starved for the gentle touch of a friend or a parent but I hated that I was afraid, and that by touching someone and trusting them that they would hurt me. Like my father.

I pulled Remus back into a hug because I trusted him enough to know that he wouldn't hurt me. I had to trust someone, why no start with the only person who had given me a chance. The only person who had reached out to me even after I had tried to push them away. This boy was a miracle.