Drift Away《Meanie》

10💎

Wonwoo's POV

It hurts.. My feet.. My head.. My eyes.. His words.. Am I really that annoying for Mingyu now? I didn't know. If only I had known that I am being a pain for him I would've left when Seungcheol hyung announced my departure from the group. I left again. Just like he said. I hate how he is always right. I am running back to my father's house. The air outside is cold but I don't feel anything. The moment I stepped into our house I am lucky that no one is awake. As soon as I reached my room I fell on my knees while tears streaming down my face. I don't usually cry infront of people.. But when he told me those words I just can't hold back my damn tears. Every word he spits at me hurts me because hell it is all true. I hate myself for being like these. I always have a choice but I always chose the path where I thought I would be the only one suffering.. But I guess this time I made a wrong choice.. I wiped my tears and went to my mother's room. And it hit me.

It hits me how much I miss my mom. Becaise at time like these I am embarrased to talk to my dad. I looked inside the room and I lay down on her bed. The last time I was here was when before I left to live at the dorm. Under my mom's pillow my hand felt something. It's an envelope. I hesitated to open it first but then I still opened it. It's a letter and a photo. A photo of her and her new family.. Why is it here? Did she put it before she left? I read the letter..

"Jeon Ryu Jin, (let's pretend that this is the name of  Wonwoo's dad.)

How are you? How is Wonwoo? I hope you're both doing good. I just saw Wonwoo on tv and it made me proud as his mom. Eventhough I know the boy hates me. I wanted to congratulate him but I'm scared. Maybe he doesn't see me as his mother anymore. After all I've done to him, to you. I know what I did is something no one can forgive but I ask for it. I am still regretting what I've done. I even killed my own son. I know you will say that it's not my fault but no. It is my fault. If only I did not turn back when Bohyuk was calling me he would still be with us. I bet Wonwoo wouldn't lock himself from other people if his brother is still alive. That is why I literally cried when I saw him on tv. My son has grown up well. You did great as his father. I am sorry for being such a failure wife and mother for our sons. I wish I can turn back time to fix everything but I know I can't. And the only thing possible that I can do is talk to Bohyuk when my time has come. I also wish I can talk to Wonwoo so I can say sorry to him. I know my sorry won't bring back our old times. But I wish it can fix what's broken in our past. I loved you. I really did. But sometimes people change. And I hate how I changed when I already had a family. This may be the last time I can write to you. Because I know you won't read these. But if you did. All I am asking for is for you to forgive me. I'm so sorry Ryujin. You only loved me but I broke you. I even broke our son. Our family. I'm so sorry.

Han Woo Rim,"

Can this night get any painful for me? While I was readimg my mom's letter my chest hurts. Because it all came back to me. How my mom left us. How my brother died. How my dad got depressed. How I ignored everything. Yes I hated my mom but time passed and I learned to forgive her. Staying mad at her won't bring back my brother right? So when I started training I kept myself busy and I met Mingyu. He made me forget how broken I was and he is the first person who made me smile again. He may not know it but he did. He fixed me slowly, little by little and now I am breaking down again little by little.

I kept on crying and crying that I did not noticed that my dad has woken up amd he saw me. He saw me crying. "Wonwoo? Why are you here son? I thought you were at the dorm." He sat next to me and he saw what I was holding. "That's.. How did you find that? I'm sorry son if I hide it to you. I just don't want you to remember all of it again when I saw you smiling again." He hugged me and I cried like a child in my father's arm. "Dad, I miss Bohyuk. What should I do?" My dad hugged me tighter "Wonwoo, calm down. I don't want to see you being back to what you are before. And I bet Bohyuk won't be happy. Please let go of him. Just like how I let him go." Bohyuk is my younger brother who is always following me around and he always rely on me. I loved him so much that I tried to kill myself when he died. I don't want to go back to the old me again. Not when dad needs me. "Wonwoo, don't stay in our family's past. It will only hurt you. I don't want that to happen." My dad made me face him and gave me a bright smile. "I am trying dad. Trust me. I am." He wiped the tears off of my face and gave me a hug again. "Wonwoo, if you're having a hard time. Talk to me ok? I know how you always keep everything to yourself. Let it out. Or it will drown you." I lowered my head from what my dad said. That is what always people tell me. I can't help it. That's me.

"Oh. And one more thing son." I faced him "What is it dad?" He scratched the back of his head and spoke "Well you see, someone keeps shouting your name infront of our gate that's why I woke up to check who is it and may I ask you something son?" Someone is looking for me? And what will dad ask me? He is making me nervous. "Why are you here? Did you have a misuderstanding with your members? Because Mingyu is outside looking for you." Who is looking for me? Mingyu? "Are you sure it's him dad?" He just gave me a nod. "Why don't you guys talk. Is it something big that you run out this late?" I can't tell my dad why I left the dorm. I don't want to stress him more, I stand up and gave my dad a smile. "I will talk to him dad. Don't worry ok? You can go back to sleep." He patted my back and gave me a smile before he went back to his room. I smiled back at him. But inside I am trying hard not to show him my pain.

"I'm sorry dad."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~