Is this really happening? Is it? Did I really kill Hoshiko? Is Akimitsu really dead? Thise words traveled through my viens, and for the millionth time in just a few hours, I was scared. I dreaded hearing their names spoken through a microphone in roughly five hours. I was terrified, what was to come of the dead bodies strew about the island? How many are left? Who's dead? I didn't know anymore, I had lost track a while ago... perhaps I should have taken out my list and crossed out each name as I heard it on the broadcast. Maybe I should start now...
I fumble with the straps of my bag as I pull the list out and drop the satchel to unfold it. I scan the list quickly, purposely missing Akimitsu's name and instead focusing on other friend's.
I look through the bag some more and finally come out with a black ballpoint pen. I yank the cap off with my teeth and carefully cross the name "Raiko Nakai (Girl Number 9)" off the list with a simple horizontal line. Then I proceed with "Natsuki Soda (Boy Number 3)" and then "Hoshiko Nakajima (Girl Number 20)". Finally, with tear-blurred eyes, cross "Akimitsu Kyoto (Boy Number 21)" out.
I try to remember some of the others, and finally comeup with "Ikumi Okisana (Boy Number 4)" and "Kameyo Tanabe (Girl Number 21)". With each name that echoes through my head, I feel a pang as memories of them laughing, talking and joking around with their friends flood through my head. It's to really think about how they're dead, nothing but a bunch of bloodied corpses, but I try not the think about it.
After a few minutes, I remember killing Atsuhiko, and effectively cross his name out grimly. Then Akana Sasaki, and I shut my eyes and will the images of her bloated body to go away. I finally open my eyes and look at the piece of paper before me. I know there's more, much more. But I can't remember who the rest are. So I fold the paper up once more and shove it in my pocket. I tuck the pen neatly into my shirt pocket. I open my bag and look at my weapons. The pair of socks from Akana. The Colt Semi-Automatic pistol from Atsuhiko. Two Walther PPQs from Akimitsu and Raiko. A submachine gun from both Natsuki and Hoshiko. At least ten bottles of water and plenty of food.
I think I must be one of the most stacked on the island. But there are better weapons....
Once again I open up the sheet that was originally mine. I look through it, and I shudder at the thought of my classmates holding these... and using them.
Midori (Girl Number 19) was given four throwing stars. Fumitake (Boy Number 14) has a jackknife. Masago (Girl Number 8) has hold of three hand grenades. Originally, a total of twelve students were given some sort of gun. Five have a knife or machete. Others have brass knuckles, nunchaku, bayonets, razors, ice pickers, or hammers. Then there are the kids who have supplies instead of weapons, like they were given bandaids, chopsticks, a coil of rope, a lighter, umbrellas, a spoon, or boxing gloves. Of course, the unlucky ones, who were assigned a carrot, lacrosse stick, and even a lampshade.
Going through the list just made me more scared. Like, there's still other kids out there, armed with hand grenades and swords. There were three submachine guns assigned, and I have two of them, thanks to Hoshiko and Natsuki.
But, there is still one. Ichirou, Boy Number 18. He has, or had, an IMI Uzi (MP-2). He wouldn't hurt a fly...
Maybe he doesn't have it anymore. I don't recall hearing his name on the broadcasts... but maybe...
Only someone like Yukimura Waki or Hirabayashi Sachiko would steal a weapon. But thankfully Hirabayashi has been elimiated. I will mourn her, but I refuse to cry over it. I will hope that her end was quick, but I will not overthink it.
Because only one is coming out, and to preserve the memories of my dead friends, that must be me.
