Abstinence x Grayson Dolan

twelve

A B S T I N E N C E
T W E L V E

     MABEL didn't have the words to describe anything in that moment, just as she didn't when she spoke in front of everyone at that weekend in fall stating that she was beginning her relationship with Jesus. Holding Grayson's hand as he submerged himself in the blessed water and resonated his love for Jesus to everyone willing to listen, it was almost as if Mabel was renewing her own faith as well.

     Mabel had been to plenty of baptism parties, for having grown up with grandparents who were cradle catholics led to all of her cousins being baptized after her. Family and friends brought small gifts for the receiver of the sacrament, usually a bible, rosary, or a prayer book. Sometimes people offered money instead and sometimes their own prayers. The parties itself were usually house parties with backyard food on paper plates and maybe a few games, often finished off with a slice of cake.

     Mabel hadn't really spoken to Grayson since they had gotten back to his house. He was too carried away being congratulated his family and friend who couldn't be any more prouder of the man willing to take the steps they wish the could, or would. Mabel simply talked with his family, as she did at any family occasion. She swam in the pool with his little cousins, played corn hole with the older cousins, and chatted with the adults and elders.

     She took a step away from everyone and began to talk with God. Her tiny mind not able to wrap around His amazing work. He spoke to her at lengths she'd never even believe. She'd spend hours talking with Him about anything that came to mind then asking Him to make miracles happen. She wasn't anything extraordinary, only a girl blown away by the work of His hands, but He still made it happen. She spent hours turned to nights talking to him without any kind of response, until now, months later was she finally getting a retaliation. He was so amazing, so full of mystery that Mabel literally can't express that feelings she has any other way than screaming and grinning like a complete mad man.

Mabel was sitting on the hammock way back in the yard, hidden between the massive willow trees. Grayson was calling out for her quietly, not wanting to draw an attention to them so they could have a moment of peace away from everyone. She sat up on the hammock and called back to him, to which he found her in the spot he always had when they were kids.

He asked her to stand up to which she refused, and all he was that he wanted to hug her. She stood, being engulfed by Grayson's arms almost immediately and picked up, spun around, then put back down. They were grinning like fools under those willow trees, they were kids again with crushes the size of Mount Everest, yet not enough words to communicate exactly that.

"I wanted to thank you," Grayson's voice was soft, the softest it's been through their journey. "Because of you, I'm here today filled with the love of God and wanting to paint the entire universe."

"That wasn't the work of me," Mabel replies, softly allowing her manicured nails to wrap around the soft fabricate of his collared shirt. She never wanted to let this moment go, a moment she knew that God created specifically for them to share, "This was the work of Him."

"If you hadn't been the light that let me see how amazing He was, I wouldn't be in this moment with you," Grayson pulls something crinkly from his back pocket and opens up the package before dropping to one knee, and holding up a red Ring Pop to the older girl. "Will you finally be my girlfriend?"

It was tacky, it was extra, but it was exactly what they needed. The two laughed hysterically, kissing between the happiness fleeing their lips. Their entire lives their hearts were bleeding different kinds of love. His hands were greedy and her hands were giving. He love was about himself and her love was about others. His love was short term and weak, her love was forever and indestructible. She was light and he was dark, but the beauty of that? There has to be darkness in order to see light.

He's wanted her for as long as he could remember, but he knew she was unobtainable. He could never quite find the answers to the questions he was asking, but it was always right in front of him. A statement said to him once was, "Are you the person you're looking for, is looking for?". Of course he was confused until it slapped him in the face when Mabel rejected him. She was everything good in this world and he was still struggling to make it out of alive. He had to find the peace that she created in order for them to make it together, and, in the process, he got the fulfillment he's craved all his life.

They were once two pieces of the same puzzle that never quite fit together, but all it took was a fix, not from Mabel, from God to make their pieces clasps. Mabel didn't fix Grayson at all, all she had done was love him with every fiber in her being, and he found the fixing he needed all by himself.

There's always a certain art to someone falling in love, but theres always so much more valuable when it's indestructible. When it's eternal.