Tom Holland ❖ imagines

reputation (i)

can't you see that all i wanted was you?

third person
warnings: mature language and slight nsfw
word count: 2,446
1:20 am

You drew lines in the sand when you needed to. Crisp, wet, clear lines that no one could mistake for anything else but definitive. They didn't act as reminders, they didn't act as warnings, they didn't act as instructions, they acted as walls; the walls you put up and the walls you hide behind.

You smiled at the cameras, but you never told them that it was the perfect curtain to cover the mess inside. The perfect table runner to cover the stain, the suitable paint to hide the discoloration. Like a king condemns his family that has brought him shame, you exiled the imperfections from the outside world.

You were staring at the lines you drew at the shore, but you were not at the beach. You were covering the mistakes like good authority, but you were not wearing a crown. How long would you have to pretend you starred in theatre when you cowered in the wings?

The cameras stopped flashing. Your smile stopped glowing. Your cheeks ached from the hours of grinning at a million lenses. His hand dropped from the nape of your spine, ridding you of the warmth you used to cherish. As soon as the doors closed behind you, he was ten steps in front of you. He didn't even wait for you.

You picked up the hem of your dress, following slow. He ran a hand through silky curls, stretching an arm out to call the elevator. You stood a few feet beside him, lifting up your dress to reveal your legs. You picked off your heels one-by-one slowly, cradling them in one hand as you bunched up your dress in the other. You wore silk, and despite everything, he couldn't think of anyone more beautiful at his side.

The elevator doors slid open. He walked inside, not even meeting your eyes as you followed behind him. His fingers dragged over the array of hotel room floors before pressing down lightly on 10. You swallowed as the doors shut in front of you.

"Tonight went well," you commented dryly. He hummed in agreement, and when you turned to look at him, he was checking the time on his watch. You had never felt so disconnected from someone in your entire life. This man was supposed to be your forever, but you could barely see a few months ahead of you.

"You look divine," he said finally. You squeezed the heels in your hand a little tighter.

"You look...very handsome, Tom."

You said his name. It had been a long time since you said his name. At the sound, his lips curled into a smile for a second. Just for a second.

Before long, the doors opened in front of you. You stayed still, expecting him to hurry out to make it to his room faster. You looked down at the dress bunched in your left hand, and the light caught the sparkle. The glowing of that gorgeous ring on your left hand. Single karat, Tiffany-cut, and signifying everything that you both were not. Not anymore, not liked it used to be, not like it might ever be.

You noticed he hadn't left yet. You looked up, and you met his gaze. You sucked in your breath as he nodded his head for you to leave first. You carried yourself out, walking slow as you made it to your hotel room. Beside his, but not with his. Together, but separate. United, but never farther apart.

"Goodnight," he said softly. You watched him disappear behind the cream door, the lock clicking not long after. You fumbled in your purse for your key card, locking yourself inside as well.