Back To You //Sequel to Bad Influence

Ch. 12

Saturday March 18, 2017

Julia is finally done moving into my house, or should I say our house. She chose the N.Y. inspired room because it reminded her of where we first met. We even went to the store and bought fairy lights and candles like the ones in the café we used to go to. So many memories in such little time. She cancelled her dorm room at UCLA and is now an official resident of this house. The only downside to this arrangement is that she is always up in her room reading some book or writing some report until 2 am and then wakes up at 6 am to get ready for University. It doesn't bother me that much but it's irritating because she is always busy. I miss being able to make coffee at 11 pm and stay up until the sunrises just laughing and talking. It's like college has drained the light out of her, she used to be so happy all the time. Always smiling and making jokes, but now she just works and studies. It's okay, I will just let her do her thing and if she needs me I will be here. Which is kind of ironic considering she is the therapist out of all of my friends. Speaking of friends (lmao you like my segway?) I need to meet up with my girls! Rena and Kaylee don't know I've gotten back and I haven't stopped by to see them yet. I miss them both dearly and I wish that our friendship didn't have to be put on hold like that for an entire year, well a little less but that doesn't matter. I would like to ask them to come over but I want to suprise them.

I leave a note on the refrigerator for Julia letting her know where I have gone to and when I'll be back. I walk down the hallway passing all of the rooms and turn into the laundry room. I look and see my keys hanging from a hook on the door. I take my keys from the hook and swipe them around my finger in a circle. I unlock the door leading to the garage and step down the concrete stairs leading to my car. While sitting in my car and twisting the keys in the ignition, the radio turns on. The song 'With You' by Chris Brown is playing. I remember this song playing when Jack and I would drive to school with eachother. We would both sing our hearts out and dance around in our seats to the best of our abilities, which weren't that great in all honesty. Just the distant memory of us being perfectly happy together and hopelessly in love fills my heart with warmth, and a smile to my face. This was our song. After 2 months of dating, I remember we had a dinner date at his house. We were both doing the dishes in the kitchen and I hooked up the song to the Bluetooth speaker and we danced together until the song ended. We kissed for only a minute, but I felt like hours, and I wish it lasted a lifetime. Jack Avery, I could not think of anything greater in this world than to be able to dance with you in the kitchen like that again. To kiss you like that. And to love you like that. Nothing in this world will ever amount to the feeling of his skin against mine. The soft, warm feeling of his lips that left me mesmerized, making me forget everything happening around me. I sometimes wonder if he feels the same way. I wonder what he thinks of me, if he has ever thought of me the way I have thought of him since we ended things. Probability is low yet my hopes are high. Hope is all I have left to hold on to. Jack has his letter I sent him for Christmas, but all I have is hope. And hopefully that is all I need to hold, until I can hold onto something more sturdy and reliable. Like Jack, if only I could hold onto Jack. Sure, we talked in my house..and cried, but that's irrelevant. He held me and I felt love radiating off of me and onto him. The way is chocolate brown eyes stared into mine took my breath away. The way my hands fit perfectly into his like a puzzle piece made me feel complete. When he smiled it lit up the room, making me want to forget every ounce of pain he has ever caused me. Time heals wounds, but sometimes they leave scars. I want to give him my all, but he might just throw it away like nothing like he did the last time. I assume he has some things against me as well, which I don't blame him for. I just don't want to be broken again, last time it shattered me and I am still picking up the pieces nearly a year later. I can't be broken this time, I don't know if I could ever be fixed.

Daniel gave me Kaylee and Rena's address when we reunited at the store. I drive there which doesn't take very long, about 20 to 25 minutes maximum. As I drive closer, my anxious antics kick in and I start to slightly panic. What if they hate me? Daniel and Zach never mentioned what they think of me. They have a never ending list if reasons to slap me all the way back to N.Y.

I completely abandoned them without letting them form any sort of opinion for themselves. I didn't treat them with the respect they deserved. I missed Kaylee's sort-of-not really-but-kinda proposal. I am an awful friend. I let them down, I left them, and I have been a trash can full of excuses.

I find the courage buried deep, deep, down and step out of the car. Walking slowly and extremely carefully up the pavement walkway leading to their large elegant dark wooden door with black metal handles, hinges, and locks. I smooth down my light, pale pink off the shoulder dress. My fingers quickly comb through my blonde curled hair making sure strands aren't stuck in or around my golden hoop earrings.

I start getting distracted by my own brain over thinking and clouding my rational mindset and literally forget how to use my legs for a split second causing me to almost faceplant in the center of their driveway. I catch myself before I fall and regain my balance on my matching pink strap heels. Heels are not the smartest thing to wear while you are near a nervous  breakdown. But I am almost to the door so there is no stopping now. I have come too far to turn back now. I take the last few steps towards the door and finally reach my destination without injuring myself. I look to the side of the door and ring the doorbell. I hear the ring from inside the house along with two female voices, assuming they belong to Kaylee and Rena my heart beats faster and I am forming beads of sweat on my forehead. I hear the sounds of footsteps coming towards the door. And then I hear the door unlocking. Click. I watch as the handle slowly turns in one direction. My time in hiding is up, it's time to say hello again.

"Anna?!"

"Hello Rena, Kay. It's nice to see you" I say nervously.

Oy Vey