Carl (my dad) Azuz

How we met

Hey bitchesssss. My name is Lukeisha and I'm in luuuuuuuuuuuuuuv with Carl Azuz. I have posters of him in my room (every spot is covered) and I even have them on the ceiling. Every night I talk to Daddy Carl, and I tell him goodnight. I know he can hear me because we have this special connection. He knows where I am all the time. I have my friends over at my house every Sunday morning for church. Instead of worshiping god and Jesus we worship Carl Azuz because he is my savior. I went to the city hall and I asked the mayor if I could build a Carl Azuz church, but they laughed at me and said no. My friends think I should go to therapy to get help because my addiction is "unhealthy" but I refuse. I will never let go of Carl because I love him and he loves me too.

A few days ago I went online and I bought some airline tickets to go to Atlanta, Georgia. That's where the CNN headquarters is. So today I'm leaving and I'm going to the airport. My family thinks I'm crazy for doing this but I don't care.

So I got on the plane, and I decided to take a nap.

I see him

I see Carl

He is a flight attendant and next to MY seat

"Would you like something to eat?"

"Yes, I'd like like to bite your face off! You have chubby cheeks! :)"

"Baby you turn me on" he said

"Fuck me Mr. Grey"

"Ughh"

I woke up

"Wtf did you just say to me"

"Um, what?" I said

"You said you wanted to bite my face you crazy lunatic!"

"No I just wanted a pretzel."

The (actual) flight attendant walked away.

"Oh my god," I thought "I'm so crazy"

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We get off the plane. I ran into the airport and I yell "CARL AZUZ, HERE I COME"
Everyone looked at me in disgust.
"Boi you is nuts" someone said
"Shut up he's my true love!"

I'm an awkward ass betch so I Naruto ran away.

I go outside and I try to catch a bus. I'm standing on the sidewalk waiting, and then the bus arrives. I walked on and then someone said "don't let that bitch in he's crazy"

"NOOOOOOO PLEEEZZZZ LET ME ON"

"Sorry Sir, the man said you're crazy so we have to believe him."

I walk off and I see someone with a skate board. I desperately need some transportation right now so I went up to him and I said,

"Sir can I please barrow your skate board?"

"Gucci lit fam." he said

"What?"

"Gucci lit fam."

"Sir can you please just answer my question?"

"GUCCI LIT FAM, GUCCI LIT FAM, GUCCI LIT FAM, GUCCI LIT FAM, Gucci lit f..."

He collapsed on the ground so I just took his skate board and walked away quietly so no one would see us.

I don't know how to ride a skate board. I tried and tried to ride it but I kept falling. So I came up with a new way to ride it. I sat on it and I'll use my legs and arms to move. I'm not sure where I'm going, but I'll figure it out because I can smell Carl Azuz.

Ok here. I'm outside of the CNN headquarters. It took me 15 minutes to get here which isn't that bad. Now, I need to find a way to get in. There are security guards standing outside of the building. I rode my skate board to the other block so I can go in through the back. I'm in front of a pizza place and CNN is behind it. I ride my skate board through the alley and I walked right in through the open door. Why would they leave that open. That's just retarded.

I walked in and I saw cameras everywhere. And people. I wish I had invisibility right now, but superpowers aren't real. I need to come up with a plan, fast. Omg omg what the fuck do I do right now.

I walked along the wall with my back facing the wall so I can see everybody. There was a table so I hid under there. I need to figure out what to do now. Ummmmmmm fuck it. I'm gonna run to him.

I ran to him while he was filming and I hid under the table.

I'm 2 inches away from Carl Azuz.
I'm 2 inches away from Carl Azuz.
Ooooooooo

I felt Carl for the first time. I touched his calf. I untied his shoes and tied them again.

He looked...under the table

"AHHHHHH"

"Is there something wrong Mr. Azuz?" Said the camera man

"There's a man under the table! SECURITY SECURITY!"

"No don't take me away!"

Security came and dragged me away from Carl.

"If you leave alphabet soup on the stove it could spell disaster." Said Carl

"I swear, you are a pun master." The camera man replied

Security brought me to jail for assaulting Carl.

This is hell. I'm sitting by myself in a cell. The walls and the floor are so disgusting.

4 hours later...

"You can go now," Said a police officer as he unlocked the cell

"There's a man who bailed you out."

"Thank you Sir."

That's weird. Who the hell would bail me out."

I walked to the lobby, and...what the fuck?