She was a writer

Hey Tear!

Hey tear,
Please don’t roll down this once.
Please don’t, because this time I will tear apart, away from everything.
You’ve been there,
You’ve seen what I have seen.
You know how it feels to be me,
You know how it feels to drop down alone and just... vanish.
A conscience, panic stricken trying to undo all the wrongs done.
It’s only a few months and we’ll part for good, and I’d have to learn to live without her against my will and she will live without me.
Today I’m too blind to see her happiness before mine,
But I hope you have seen that I always do, except for this time.
I know that love is not painful,
It’s just that some days I cry, alone, because I don’t want to be alone.
She thinks it’s a mask that will wear off as soon as she starts loving me, and well why won’t you expect a storm when it’s been raining since the past two days. I know that I love her and there are no two ways, I’m trying really hard to pave another path just to walk away. But all I realise is that it’s a circle that leads me back to her, makes me feel that we’re bound to be together but she thinks that it is a rope that will become tighter as time goes by and that it will choke me as I run out of time and patience.
My friends have told me that it’s a sink hole, an abyss and sometimes I agree but the feeling of the first kiss that I inevitably dream of drags me back to Square one, no matter how hard I try to run.
You know I’d be a liar if I’d say that I don’t dream of us spending a night by the fire. There’s this thin wire that I’m standing on, the line between a dream and the reality, man she is the answer to everything, she is the rationale for all of the causality, and just as kind the universe was that it made me meet her, the reality was cruel enough  to keep me away from her love. I’d still love you, my turtledove.

With love,
Ayush Bhatt