Introvert

seventeen

The boy woke up that morning with his phone stuck to the side of his face. He didn't even remember falling asleep; the last memory he had was Dylan's voice mumbling on about something. Although his phone was dead, he didn't mind.

Plugging his phone into the charger, he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. It was Saturday morning, but he had no idea what time it was or if anyone was even home.

He could hear the TV playing re-runs of Reba as he headed downstairs. If the Hallmark channel was on, he knew his mom was home. Peering his head into the family room, he found his mom, Tina, working on one of their many family scrapbooks. All of her art supplies were sprawled out on the coffee table as she sorted what was needed for the different pages and photos.

"Hey Mom," he said.

Not phased by the sudden voice, she looked up at her son with the same smile he had. "Morning, Sleepyhead."

He knew then that it had to be past noon. She never said that unless he slept that late. Shifting his body to be in the doorway of the family room, he looked at all of her supplies then at the TV.

"Are you going to Brandon's today or no?" She asked.

Austin instinctively ran a hand through his bed head and shrugged. "I don't think so. It sounds like we're hanging out tomorrow though."

"M-hm," his mom hummed. Her gaze fell back to her photo box she was sorting.

The blonde boy took this as his cue to leave. Heading for the kitchen, he immediately walked to the fridge. To his surprise, there were no leftovers. The pantry was pretty barren, too. Even his favorite cereal was missing. Usually, with a house full of men, the place was full of snacks and easily ready food.

"Mom!"

"Yeah?" Tina called back.

"Why don't we have food?" Austin yelled into the empty fridge.

He didn't even have to see his mother to know she was scoffing and rolling her eyes. "There is food, you just have to make it."

She did have a point. There was food, but none of it was appealing. It was an ingredient household right now and Austin didn't want to actually cook. Closing the fridge doors for the third time, he left the kitchen a little defeated. He didn't bother bugging his mom to make him something. He knew the answer to that already. Tina was in her groove with the scrapbooking and Austin was 18.

Once he was back in his bedroom, the boy checked his phone. It had finally turned on. The battery read 17% and he had a few notifications. After checking his texts, he moved to Instagram. As he skipped through stories, one immediately caught his attention.

Dylan was stood on a latter covered in paint. Her hair was tied up messily, effortlessly. Her glasses and smile filled up her entire face.

Austin's heart skipped a beat.

Then he noticed the words behind her and the account who had posted the story. His eyes fixated on the caption near the bottom of her feet.

Talent is hard to find, but this girl owns it. Much love @ dp_arreaga

He knew that they were friends. He knew that she would be there today helping him with his mural. He knew that he would never try anything with her because of him. Yet it ate at Austin.

Love.

Why would he say that? Edwin could have just left it at the compliment. No need to say 'love'. It was unnecessary.

Trying to ignore the thoughts that tore at him, he turned off his phone and headed for the bathroom. Showering will help, he told himself.

Which it did, briefly. He showered, he shaved, he got dressed, he did his hair, and not once did he think of Dylan and Edwin. He did think of Dylan, just not with Edwin.

It wasn't until he went back to his phone. There was two new stories. One from Dylan and the other Edwin. He opened Dylan's first. It was just a photo of Edwin sitting on the floor, painting the mural of what looked like New York. His face wasn't visible, just the back of his head, covered in brown curls. Austin knew it was him, but she still had him tagged.

As he stared at her story, it made time freeze for a second. He was excited to see that she had actually posted something. The girl hardly posted, having a total of 4 posts, and he never normally saw a story from her. This meant that the girl was finally branching out, but it also meant that she was branching out without him. The boy barely got her to follow him, yet she was already posting Edwin.

Trying not to dwell, he skipped to the next story. Edwin's. This time it was a video.  At first it was him singing along to a Mariana and the Diamond's song Austin barely recognized; then the camera flips to Dylan. She was still standing on the ladder, this time she was working on the same wall as Edwin. She was singing along to the song, unknowingly. When she finally saw the camera, Austin noticed the pink rushing to her face.

He wished he was the one making her blush.

He wished that this was them. That he was the one singing along to the unfamiliar song, covered in paint, enjoying the sunny autumn day. Instead, he was sitting in his room alone.

Without much thought, he was standing from his bed and slipping on his vans. He tugged on one of his hoodies over his shirt. Grabbing his favorite green beanie from the top of his dresser, he left his room. Once he was back downstairs, he peered into the family room. Tina was still on the couch, but this time making piles of what paper went together. He smiled at the sight of his mom. "Hey, I'm going to get food."

"M-hm." She hummed in acknowledgement.

Not waiting for any other questions or remarks from his mom, the boy headed for the front door. His dad's and brother's cars were missing which meant they were somewhere else, but he didn't give it much thought. He could only really think about Dylan and what she was up to.

Taking his keys out of his pocket, he started his car. BROCKHAMPTOM immediately started to play from his Bluetooth. Normally, this would make him smile, but it made his face drop more. The song made him think of the first time he drove Dylan in his car at the beginning of the month. The first time they hung out at his house. The first time he got to show her something that he loved.

He loved that day. He wished he could relive it.

Without really thinking of it, the boy drove through town to his favorite sushi spot. He thought about going to the new place downtown, but he really wanted to take Dylan there first. He parked in the lot, but before leaving his car, he decided to glance at Instagram one more time.

As if like clockwork, Edwin had posted another story.

Taking in a breath, Austin's thumb clicked on the profile picture for it to open to a picture of them. This time it was a selfie. Dylan was leaned into Edwin with the biggest smile he has ever seen her wear. Her glasses were at the point of her nose where she would normally push them up, but her eyes were closed. Above their heads, Edwin had captioned the photo.

Love painting with her

There it was, again.

Love.

The longer Austin stared at that word, the more it ate at his heart. He hated the envy he felt, but he couldn't help it. He wanted to be Edwin here. As he turned off his phone, his gaze lifted to the world outside of his car. Even if he got out of his car and took a breath of fresh air, he would still have this feeling.

Love.

That one word choice made Austin sit and think.

Love.

Edwin couldn't love Dylan, because he loved her.