In the Middle

Chapter Two

    Heat burned through Grae's veins as she forced herself to swallow the bitter liquid running down her throat. Grae's days of drinking heavily had peaked at 19, and she no longer had the desire to partake in the sport of shot-taking, preferring to stick to beer or wine. However, as soon as their group had stepped into the crowded pub, Sienna had marched straight up to the bar, ordered a round of shots, and immediately dispersed them amongst everyone. Grae sucked it up, not wanting to spoil Sienna's night. Once the liquid had been drained out of each glass, Sienna repeated the ritual and Grae was three shots in before she knew it.

    Looking around the room, Grae saw that most of the bar's patrons were university students. Every person seemed to have thrown their inhibitions to the wind; they were all laughing, dancing, talking, drinking, and letting loose. Out of the corner of her eye, Grae saw a figure sidle up next to her. She looked over and recognized Jefferson, a friend of Sienna's whom she had been introduced to earlier in the evening.

    "How long before you think this turns into one major orgy?"

    Looking over at Jefferson, she watched his face break into a slight smirk and caught onto the humorous tone that laced his words. Grae returned his smile, and pointed over to a couple who looked to be glued together making it difficult to tell where one body ended and the other began. "I'd give it an hour, two tops."

    Jefferson let out a snort accompanied with a smile of agreement. He quickly ran his hand through his short, blonde hair, observing the room in the same way Grae had previously been doing. Grae took this moment to take in Jefferson. She noticed he kept shifting his weight from foot to foot, suggesting he may feel uncomfortable or nervous. Grae had never been the most outgoing person, but she prided herself in being able to make small talk with the best of them. She quickly racked her brain, trying to think of a more-than-mediocre topic.

    "So, you're in the film program with Sienna, right?"

    Jefferson looked at Grae with a small smile, "Yeah, I am. Sienna tells me you're a writer?"

    "Well, trying to be a writer, I suppose. I'm still waiting to hear if I got into this postgrad writers program that would basically secure me a contract with any major publication in New York City. If that doesn't happen, I'm not sure what I'm going to do."

    "From what I've heard from Sienna, writing is definitely your thing. I'm sure you don't have anything to worry about."

    He brought up the one thing Grae was trying to not think about for the evening, and she knew that there was no hope of getting it out of her brain at this point. Grae could tell that Jefferson wasn't just telling her what she wanted to hear to get her into bed; he genuinely seemed to be a nice guy who believed in Sienna's words without even knowing Grae himself, but she was far too occupied with thoughts of her impending future at that point to focus on Jefferson's possible advances.

    Grae never believed in having a "plan b." She knew it was risky, and admittedly a little stupid, but growing up she always accomplished her goals because of one reason: she gave herself no other option. However, as the the arrival date of the letter that would determine her future loomed closer, Grae began to rethink the decision to rely solely on the program. Realistically, she knew that there were plenty of other options for someone who had a degree in Writing, but when she had read about the Writing program at the beginning of her schooling in New York City, she knew that was what she would work toward.

  When Grae allowed herself to get lost in her writing, she produced her best work. She never held herself back and was always willing to explore different methods, topics, styles - anything that would improve her skill. Regardless of Grae's ability to completely let go when she took pen to paper, the need to have control over other aspects of her life could sometimes consume her if she let it. She often wished she could present herself as the free-spirited and laid back version of herself that came out while writing all of the time, but her need to follow the life path she had set-up for herself held her back.