Dear Daddy,

Chapter One: Life

Dedicated to all the moms around the world, particularly mine in heaven. I love you mom, I always will. 

Chapter One: Life

She opens her little eyes. There are a lot of people in the room, all wearing a long piece of something that covers their body. She makes a small sound. She is crying.

A man with his mouth covered, takes her in his hands. She is sticky and still connected to her mommy. Mommy. Where is mommy? She can hear mommy's sob. If mommy’s crying, she is in pain too.

The girl is wrapped in a piece of something. What is it? I look like them now. She wonders. But she cannot see herself. Her eyes are stuck at the light over the man’s head. The man is very big.

She stops crying as soon as she is in her mommy’s arms. She knows it is mommy because her touch is gentle and her hands are shaking. Mommy has curly, very curly hair. Mommy is beautiful. Her face is wet but she is happy. Mommy’s happy! Mommy lifts her and kisses her on the forehead. She smiles and puts her hand on her mommy’s face. They look so small, so tiny.

Mommy speaks softly. She says something that the little girl doesn’t understand. But mommy has a smile permanently plastered on her face. Everything else seems to go away and it’s just mommy and her little girl. But where is daddy? Daddy should be here right. Mommy and daddy should here to see their little girl come to life.

‘Mommy proud. Love. Daddy come’ are the only thing that she understands from mommy’s endless talks.

Mommy has to give away her little girl. She looks scared to give her in someone else’s arms. The little girl looks at her mommy as the man places her in a box. Mommy looks different from the box. She looks bigger and fatter. She also looks fuzzy. The little girl quietly laughs at her mommy’s looks.

Mommy puts her against her body and feeds her. Her tiny hand catches hold of mommy’s chain as she drinks. She finds the chain very attractive.

“Daddy gave mommy this. You love?”

She takes the chain to bring it to her mouth when mommy takes it away gently. Her eyes shift toward mommy. Mommy looks down at her with a smile and says, “No eating it.”

Daddy’s here too. Daddy looks hairy. He has hair on his face too. But mommy doesn’t have hair on her face! Mommy has a beautiful non-hairy face. Why does daddy have hair and mommy doesn’t? She wonders. Daddy’s hands shake too, like it did to mommy when she held her for the first time. Daddy’s scared too. He has water coming from his eyes. Daddy’s crying too. Is daddy in pain? But daddy smiles. Daddy is happy.

She has an urge to touch daddy’s hair. She puts her arm forward and touches daddy’s face, then her nose crinkles and she smiles so wide that her gums can be seen. Daddy laughs at her. Daddy’s eyes turn small when he laughs too.

“She laughed! Guys, Dan, she laughed.” Daddy squeals with joy.

Mommy comes close and smiles at her. Then, two more daddies come in. Which one is daddy? One has curly long hair, not long and curly like mommy though. Mommy’s the best. The other daddy has a small face.

“Hey there little one, this is Uncle Harry and I am Uncle Louis.” Uncles, no daddy. The little girl takes notes.

There is a lot of noise in the room. Daddy doesn’t speak and neither does mommy. They just listen and look at her. Then daddy speaks to her.

“Daddy has a name for you little one.” Daddy looks down at her and then says the name, “Thalia. Thalia Grace Payne.”

When mommy is gone, daddy talks to Thalia endlessly, just like mommy did. Little Thalia doesn’t understand everything from it, but just parts of it. Daddy says he loves mommy and Thalia, which makes her smile. Then daddy says something about ‘write’. What is write? Thalia wonders. All these things are so new to her.

Then, daddy kisses her forehead and says, “Goodbye love.”

“Daddy loves you.”