Incoherent | Jeon Jungkook

I

I adjust the placement of the straps that belong to my book bag onto my shoulders. Straightening my shoulders, I keep my head forward, refusing to look behind me. Even though we are between periods, and they are a lot of people in the halls; I can still hear and feel him behind me. When am I ever going to learn to just let him leave the classroom first?

I speed up my pace right as I enter the cafeteria, just trying to get to the choir room faster. My hands tighten around my books as my nerves get worse.

"Hey, Raiden," the voice causes goosebumps to raise along my body.

I slow my walk and turn around to face him better, realizing I can not just ignore him, "Hey, Jungkook?" Why did I say it as a question? Stupid, so stupid.

He smirks slightly, but doesn't look at me directly, "How's your day going?"

I raise and eyebrow and have to force myself not to stop walking, "Okay, I guess. Why did you want to know?"

Finally, his brown eyes glance over me. I'm not looking at him anymore, but I see him turn his head to look at me; obviously looking at me as he says, "Just thought I'd ask,".

"Well, how is your day?" I ask, feeling obligated to return the question. By this point we're through the cafeteria and only right down the hall from the choir room.

He shrugs and comments, "The usual,".

I just nod and say, "That's nice,".

I start walking a little faster, which to my dismay, he just keeps up. Breathing in relief as I reach the choir room, I go to turn into the open doors, but stop when I hear him say, "See you later, Wild,".

I turn around, but he is already down by the study hall on the stage. I begrudgingly walk over to the tables at the front of the room and set my stuff down on them, then proceeding to sit myself on the table.

I can't help but wonder why I can't help but like him. I also can't help but wonder how we are still considered friends. He quit talking to me for months, and then out of the blue he pretended like nothing ever happened and began talking to me again.

In my mind, since I already got hurt, it didn't matter what I did anymore. I have been making remarks about his looks, even though he is definitely an attractive male. I've also been ignoring him most of the time too, and when I'm not ignoring him, I tend to give him short answers.

An image of him smiling pops into my head, and I feel myself smile in response. I put my face in my hands and hit my palms off of my cheeks a few times. I have never been this infuriated with my feelings before and it is beginning to piss me off.

"Raiden!" I turn to see Morgan looking at me with a beaming smile.

My lips turn up to return the smile, "What's up?"

She sets her stuff down on the table next to me and then excitedly places her hands on my shoulders, "He walked you to class!"

My lips drop and I shake my head with a chuckle, "No he didn't,".

She gives me a look. A look that says she doesn't believe me, "I saw you two. He was walking next to you, and you two were talking. Good job, Rai,".

I sigh and state, "I don't like him Morgan,".

She laughs and turns around to go find her seat. She sits down and looks at me from the middle of the room, "Yes you do. You just don't want to,".

I shrug my shoulders, "Can you blame me?"

"Yes, yes I can. He's totally hot and you know it," she smirks at me.

"Are we talking about Raiden and Jungkook?" Ava commented as she entered the room. She sets her stuff down with ours and smiles at me knowingly.

The thing is, none of my friends know anything about my relationship with Jungkook. No one does in fact. I'd like to keep it that way too to prevent anything worse from happening.

I go to object, but Maeve cuts in from behind me, "Yes, we are,".

"Morgan and I were, I didn't even know you were there," I sigh and slide over so she can sit next to me. She happily obliges and suggestively nudges my shoulder.

The bell rings just as Taehyung walks through the doors next and he immediately walks over to me, "Can you come with me?"

I nod, knowing what he wanted, "Chemistry?"

"Yeah, I have no idea what's going on," he pouts at me and grabs my elbow, pulling me off the table and away from my friends.

We walk through the now empty hallway to the auditorium. He pulls me through the dark opening in the doors and pushes me against the wall without shutting them

He hastily puts one on my hip and the other on my neck as he leans in, hungrily kissing me. My hands instinctively go to the nape of his neck and ruffle my fingers through his hair.

His lips move to my jaw and I use that time to say, "What are you doing?"

He pauses and looks at me, "I wanted you. Is there something wrong with that?"

"You've ignored me for two weeks. You can't just use me when you're horny. We're supposed to be friends, remember that?" I cross my arms over my chest. My heart stings when I say those words because they remind me of a certain someone else who I was supposed to be friends with.

His hands stay fixated on my hips and he frowns, "We've been friends for thirteen years, you know I'm not just using you. I've been busy, Rai,".

I'm not just using you

That's what they all say, Tae.

"Whatever, you guys think you can just use me whenever you want. My lipstick looks good today, and I'm not wasting it on you," I step out of his reach and walk back into the hallway.

The door to the study hall on the other stage is open and I see Jungkook look up from his phone to see me. He faintly smiles, but then Taehyung comes up behind me and starts talking to me again, "I'm not using you, just know that,".

He walks away after slapping my butt and I just turn to see Jungkook's smile gone. He is now frowning down at his phone. I frown and turn away to walk back to the choir room after Taehyung. I hear a thud, but don't turn back to see what it is.