Not Dead Yet~Carl Grimes

1.

ADRENALINE flooded my system, my heart pounding agianst my chest in quick beats. My eyes were wide, the sunlight burning the whites of my eyes. I wanted to run away from my fear where we would be safe, but instead I stood frozen in fear. Sometimes freezing in a crisis would be helpful, but right now freezing would get us killed.

Tommy wailed from behind my legs, squeezing with all of his might, afraid of what was to come next if we didn't run away. His small hands were clammy against my bare legs, and his eyes were red and wide with fear as he shook violently. 

I wanted to quell the pounding in my chest, but there was no sign of it happening. Listening to Tommy's crys for safety made my head ache, voices echoing through each ear. Do something, Sophia, save Tommy, one voice repeated over and over again, while the other repeated, No Sophia, you'll never get away. You'll die either way. Even with the second voice, I knew to stick with my intuition and obeyed the first.

I mean, being brave meant being afraid, right? I had to conquer my fears in order to make true progress in the life I had to live in now. I will not be afraid of these monsters any longer. Although my heart had been beating faster than I could comprehend and my body shook, I had to be that warrior at heart I knew my mom would want me to be if she knew I was alive. Being brave in situations like this is not stupid-it's astounding.

I spun around towards the shaking boy, taking him into my arms as I studied the tree behind us. The tree held many branches which shifted upwards towards the sky, some out straight towards the other trees around it. Its papery leaves fell around us, as if there had been a protective sheild around us, seperating the dead from the living. As I placed my palm up against the rough bark, Tommy began to whimper more.

"Go," I whispered, signaling for the small child to climb. He stared at me with wide eyes, drops of water streaming down his pink cheeks from his dark eyes. He tugged on my arms as I strived to place him near the first branch. His thin bottom lip began to quiver as he shook his head, inching his way closer to my body. "Now!" He gaped at me with a disturbance, before wrapping his small arms around the first branch, pulling himself up to the next thereafter.

I rotated around back towards the horde of walkers heading towards me, sure that Tommy was safe now. Each walker smelt of rotted flesh and blood as they limped closer and closer to me, their deformed bodies and limbs unhinged in many places. Their bloodshot eyes scattered around every part of my thin body, excited to have their next meal. 

There was once a time in my life when I had been scared of dying, where I would always pray for a tommorrow. But now I no longer feared it. I didn't have a clue as to where dying would take me, is there such thing as heaven and hell? Would the lord let me into his place after all the things I have sinned about? Or would he forgive me, understanding the situation I am in now? Maybe he'll take me now for what I had been willing to do-for what I had been willing to sacrifice.

My breathing began to calm as I closed my eyelids, taking in the scent of nature around me. As strong as the walkers smelt, it somehow drained out, being replaced with the smell of blooming flowers. It was an aroma of sweet lillies. Oh how much I missed that smell. My mother, before this, would always bring me Lillies after I got home from school. They had been my favorite flowers because my grandmother had always had them around her house before she passed away.

Before the walkers could end my life, gunshots cracked into the air as loud as thunder, every moan once heard from walkers now absent. My eyes peeled open, my jaw dropping when I realised every walker had been dead, inches away from me. Sweat dripped down my forehead as I finally registered that I was almost torn apart into pieces. What had I been thinking? I could have easily climbed up the tree after Tommy. Why would I have wanted to commit suicide like that and leave Tommy alone? He's 6 for christ sake!