This Time

 

I. Experiment

 

"It's been eight years huh?" a smug smile paints on my face. For a second, napatulala ako. I awkwardly shift in my seat. I reach for my cup of coffee laying straight in front of me, still steaming. Tamang - tama rin pala ang init nang dumampi ang mga kamay ko. 

"Ang sarap ng amoy neto." bulong ko nonchalantly. The scent is refreshing. It's like the aroma of fresh morning yet nostalgic.

I take a sip. The taste is unique, it took me by surprise. Napangiti ako at isang genuine na ngiti. I place my cup back to where it's been staying minutes ago. 

"I think mas masarap pag tinikman." I sheepishly beam at my companion again. Parang bata. 

"I knew you'll like it." he smiles back. Napataas - kilay ako sa comment niya.

I cross my leg, sit sophisticatedly as if trying to intimidate him. "I bet you're saying you always knew me?"

He says nothing but still wearing that smile on his pretty face. Napailing lang siya. Oh, di ko yata natakot. He sits back yung upong parang nasa bahay lang. I prop my elbow on the table. I feel ashamed intimidating him for nothing. I mean, medyo nakakainsulto pakinggan na alam niya kung ano ang gusto ko. I spent all these years trying to look mature; to act mature; to change. I want him to notice that I've changed. I feel frustrated but then I smirk.

"You." I pause. He stares back intently, tagos kaluluwa. But then I did not bat an eyelash. "You think hindi parin ako nagbago?"

"Hindi." diretsyong sagot niya. Parang tumigil ang paligid. Nakakairitang nilalang to. Wala man lang pakemekeme. 

An exasperated sigh come out. I withdraw all the threatening facade, compose myself and sit comfortably. Silence ruled for what seems like eternity. He did not break his stare at me kahit hindi ako nakatingin sa kanya, damang - dama ko pa rin. Medyo awkward na yata dito. I want to walk away. I glance at my watch. 

"I need to go." I stand, straight - faced. I did not spare a second glancing him. I walk cooly. No one grab my wrist to stop me. Better. No drama. No public disturbance. My gut feel says he is smiling victoriously. I hate seeing it. I strode out of the cafe and did not look back. I am, at the moment, upset of him not noticing something new in me. 

Medyo sayang lang yung kape gustong - gusto ko pa naman yun. Buti na lang tinandaan ko yung lugar. Meron din namang magandang nangyari sa pagkikita namin kahit papano. And that makes me smile.