BRAINSTORM

Chapter Ten - The problem with Einstein.

               

Jack paced in his suite, asking himself what else he would have to sacrifice, besides his sense of privacy and self-respect. Possibilities tumbled around noisily in his head like rocks in a polisher.

Eventually, his capacity to control his mind triumphed. There was just one good reason to persevere here at CIRAS, and he let it sustain him like an air tank sustains a diver. If he could keep other kids from having to go through what his brother Jeremy had experienced, nothing else mattered. Not really. What was personal privacy when compared with saving children from pain or death? Jack would have given anything to keep Jeremy alive. He would have made a pact with the devil. I might be getting ready to do just that.

Jack sunk into the chair in his office. The gleaming walls felt like they might fall down and crush him. With a determined blink and a soul-deep sigh, he opened his mouth to speak the fateful words, the words that would sign away his freedom. He held his mouth open, procrastinating. His tongue could dry out before he capitulated. No, I will do this thing, he thought. Then – It better be damned worth it.

"Computer."

Screens blinked on. "Yes, Jack."

"I want to sign the agreement. Get it up for me."

"Of course." The page appeared instantly.

Seeing it froze him up. His jaw felt locked.

"Jack?" the computer inquired.

His shoulders shuddered. "How do I do it?"

"Just sign with the pen on the tablet."

Jack looked down and picked up the electronic pen. He held it above the signature line, where it wavered, just like his will. Jeremy, his conscience reminded him. He brought the pen down and signed his name, Dr. Jack Kerwin. It was done. Now he could get to work.

Except some force within him objected. He found himself heading to the gym, where he commenced a very sweaty two-hour workout. After that, he caught up on the latest news from CNN and Fox. Then he indulged in a one-and-a-half-hour-long lunch at one of CIRAS's restaurants. Post-lunch, he took a long walk through the manicured grounds and returned inside for a visit to the in-house bar.

Each step he took toward the bar summoned an admonishment. He should be working. He had no business drinking and relaxing. Had he forgotten about Jeremy?

Jack answered the voice: Yes, he should be working. No, he shouldn't be drinking. He hadn't forgotten Jeremy. But he did need some time to recover. The way he felt was similar to what it was like when he lost a soccer match. It took time to recoup before he could start concentrating on his next game.

He turned the next corner and ran into Ellen Standis. Literally. He had been looking down at his shoes and didn't see her.

"Hey," he said. She looked hot. There was no other way to put it. She wore snug jeans and a silky black top, and he thought she looked even better than she had in that sexy white dress.

Ellen slipped a hand into her right pocket and tilted her head to the side. "Hi, Jack. I was looking for you, but you weren't in your room."

Jack looked around the hallway like she might be talking to a different Jack. "Who, me?"

She threw her head back and laughed. "Yeah, you."

He ran a hand through his hair. "Well, here I am."

"Yes, here you are. I wanted you to take me for a drink."

Jack was confused. He liked Ellen, and he liked sex. He really liked sex. But he never mixed sex with work. Not to say that was what she was offering. But his work at CIRAS was very important. He couldn't afford to screw things up or to get distracted. Besides, why was she interested in him when she could have anyone she wanted?