Kimberly's Story

Thanks To Him

"Come on, come on..." I continue to stare at the glowing digits on the clock in front of me. With my head resting on my arms, I mentally count the seconds until the next minute. "Yes!"

 I hop up from my bed and grab a thin sweater while I excitedly exit my room. So this is what it means to be excited, I thought. I couldn't remember the last time I had this feeling. There were butterflies in my stomach and the smile on my face was so unbelievably real, it made me want to cry. The reason for my excitement was a pounding thought swarming inside my head. I was meeting Keith at the tree again. This time, however, I didn't feel so guilty about anything. Only Keith could pull this feeling from out of the deep, dark sentiments buried on top of the warm, wonderful ones in my chest. I simply couldn't wait to--

 "Kimberly."

 I froze mid-stride, my eyes widening and my head lowering instinctively. I slowly turn, knowing whose face I would see. "Yes?"

 My father glares at me with blood-shot eyes, his large, bulky body lying lazily on the tattered old couch in front of the TV. "Where are you going?" he drawls, his voice hoarse and clipped.

 I take a small intake of air, enough to reply and nothing more, and say, "To study at the library." Lying to him was always a dangerous thing to do. I had learned that the hard way, of course. Simply waiting there under his heavy stare was torture enough, if he were to find out I was meeting a boy...I don't know what would happen to me. I gulp, and do a hesitant half-turn.

 He grumbles somthing unintelligible under his breath and then he growls, "Where's your mother?"

 Another short breath. "Grocery shopping." Now that wasn't a lie. Atleast, I don't think it was.

 The only response was a low grunt. The sound made me sick. "Be back by five. Uncle John is coming over."

 At the sound of his name, my knees start to shake incontrollably. I squeeze my lips together and force myself to calmly walk out of the door. I close the door behind me, and take a deep breath. No, no, no, no, no....please, no, I beg, to no one in particular.

 The sky was clear, again, and it was the type of morning that would make my lips twitch up into a smile. However, today it did nothing of the sort. In fact, it did the opposite. To think that he was going to come here again...that he would dare come here after what he did...Uncle John. The disgusting snake. He wasn't even my uncle, though he liked me to call him that. He was a sick man; sick, as in twisted and wrong.

 How could my day start of to be so completely blissful, and then turn into this terrible, terrible day? I choke back a sob and wipe the tears that were starting to pool from my closed eyelids. I couldn't see Keith like this, it would ruin everything I had hoped for after talking to him yesterday. I wanted to be a normal girl. I wanted him to not have to worry about my issues--my own, troublesome issues. Keith deserved better than me, I knew it. So, I needed to be strong for him, for Keith. I would put on a smile, just so I could see his in return. I sniffle, and then start walking up the sidewalk to the old tree up the hill. I can do it.

 As I reach the top of the hill, I spot him. Keith was sitting on the grass, his head tilted back against the tree trunk with his eyes closed. His face was so incredibly peaceful, I started to slow down my pace to not disturb this memorable moment. I had never seen him so peaceful. I had never seen anyone so peaceful, to be honest. I smile--a real smile, a smile that only Keith can bring out of me--and gently say his name.

 Keith's eyes flicker open, and he smiles. Getting to his feet, he says, "Hey, you made it."

 I nod mutely.

 "I need to talk to you about something," Keth says, gently.

 By the tone of his voice, I immediately suspect that he's going to bring up my father. "Keith, I don't want to talk about--"

 "It's not about your domestic life, don't worry," he says, cutting me short. He says this sadly, I notice, as if he wanted to talk about it but knew he couldn't.

 I look away from him, but nod anyway.

 I hear Keith sigh, before he starts talking. "It's about that new girl, Christina."

 My eyes travel to his his and I look at him witha confused expression. "What about her?" I ask curiously. Mentally, I thank the Heavens that we changed subjects so quickly. The last thing I needed was to have him asking more questions. It'd only be a matter of time before he found out about Uncle John. I couldn't let that happen, ever. If anyone were to find out what happened that night... I take a deep breath and focus on the present conversation, ashamed I'd even get caught up in my thoughts when I was around Keith.

Keith's eyebrows furrow. "Well, I know this probably has nothing to do with me but...I heard some strange rumours from Mark. You remember Mark, don't you? From yesterday? He called you one of the triplets?" He looks awkward as he says the last part, and then continues. "I just wanted to make sure that you weren't, you know, getting into too much trouble. I mean, I don't know how close you two are but when you said you were hung out with her that one time and then I heard this and--" At this point, he was starting to ramble, and I had to hold my hand out to cut him short.

"Keith," I say, smiling. "It's okay. I know that she may seem...different. But it's fine. Really," I lie, though I try to say it as convincingly as possible. It was hard, since I truly hated lying to him. But what other choice did I have? I couldn't tell him that I tried drugs for the first time with her and skipped class. What would he think of me? I could only imagine the look on his face when he broke it off with me... I clear my throat and say, "So you just wanted to warn me?"

"Ah--yeah," he says, smiling awkwardly. He puts to the back of his head and looks sheepish. "I know that sounds sort of strange but I just thought I'd ask. He lets out a light chuckle, and I swear my heart does a little dance inside my chest.

WIthout even thinking, I find myself moving towards him. he seems to notice this and lowers his arm, gently wrapping it around my waist. He looks down at me with his large chocolate brown eyes, his other hand cupping my cheek. "I'm glad we can trust each other like this," he says. "At first i wasn't sure if you were being honest with me but..." he trails off when he sees my face.

To hear him talk about trust and how glad he was caused a great pang inside of me. He shouldn't trust me. I was lying to him, about a lot of things. And to think how open he was with me made me feel like the most terrible person. Keith was putting way too much trust in me, when I didn't deserve it at all. I couldn't let him know though. I couldn't bear it if he believed that I was not trustworthy. It was unthinkable how much I would hurt if he thought lowly of me. So...I was going to have to convince him that everything was fine. That I didn't have this heavy weight that I will eternally carry inside of me. I would have to pretend that I could breathe through the suffocating world around me. I needed to pretend that I could survive--that I could be with him no matter how hard this burden was.

"Kim?" he says hesitantly, his eyes heavy with concern.

I stretch my lips into a smile, fully aware of how painfully fake it was. To think how it could have been a real one if I didn't have these heart-stabbing memories to deal with all over agin. And it was all thanks to him; it was all thanks to my Uncle John.