Darkness

When We're All Alone

 I waited in the corner to see if she'd come for me. We had both been fast asleep for a bit, but after waking up, I knew sleep wouldn't come back to me. Her arms were still open from where I had been just a couple moments ago and no matter how much I wanted to go into her arms I couldn't bring myself to do so. The room was dark, but there was a hint of light coming from the doorway.

I wondered if shed wake up. Or realize that I wasn't in her arms, but I was far enough away that she wouldn't be able to touch me. In my mind, I thought that maybe I could just fall back asleep in the corner, but I also longed to be in her arms. It had only been a few minutes, but my body was already missing the warmth, and closeness that I felt when I was with her. Stupid wasn't it? I was so close to her, yet I was aching to be with her. She had rolled over. I think she realized that I wasn't with her anymore.

 "Where are you?" She mumbled; picking up her head ever so slightly.

"Babe, where are you?"

Still I didn't answer. She moved her hand across the bed trying to find me, and I was happy I had distanced away. I don't know why I had; I want to be with her, in her arms, snuggling against her, but I didn't want to get attached. I knew what would happen if I got attached. I would want more and more. Did I want that? A little. But I also knew that I couldn't bring myself to do it again. To get attached; love the attention. Need the attention. But in the end, I would only get hurt; broken. I knew it wouldn't change. Every person that I had ever gotten close to had left me or a major fight happened and then there'd be nothing between us. I don't think I'd be able to handle again, nor did I want to.

She had found me. Well, my stomach at least since I was laying on my side. Her hand was wrapped around my side with a slight tug trying to pull me closer to her. I let myself sink back into her. Her hand pulled me from the corner I had snuggled into to back into her arms. And I let myself do so. It seemed like my body fit right into her; my head went right between her head and shoulder, and our legs intertwined together.

It was only one night, right? Wrong. This one night would lead to so much more. Could either of us handle that? Would we want to?

"Did I do something?" She asked, eyes still closed.

"No, babe, I'm sorry." Kissing her check, I snuggled into her side.

Her arms tightened more around me and I loved the way I felt needed. It was all I ever wanted. I didn't know what time it was, but I knew when the sun arose wed have to act like nothing happened between us. Like we always had to. At school, we shared a few sentences, hugged once or twice, but never kiss. Never make ourselves seem like we were something, but then again, we would never be anything. People could never know. I think that's why we both loved the dark so much; we could be what we wanted to be, together, without anyone saying differently. Judging us for who we wanted to be.