Points of View

It'll Get Better Someday

Today

I was called ugly.

They said I had a face that even a mother couldn't love,

and I told those of experience,

and they told me it gets better someday.

I feel stupid because I can't do arthimetic

forget mathematics

and word problems,

I have problems with words,

so they make me feel illiterate,

and I told those of experience,

and they told me it gets better someday.

Everyday, it feels like I get pissed on

I don't want to go on,

but everyone tells me that I need to keep on,

I feel pain of the mental,

I'm beginning to prefer physical,

so I put a blade to my arm,

you might know it as self-harm,

but, to me, it feel like reemergence

I come home,

my face covered in scars

and black marks.

I shut the door

and run into my mothers arms

arms of artificial warmth and comfort

and ask her what do I do.

She says it'll get better someday.

...

I pull out of her robotic grip and yell,

when the hell is someday,

cause everyday so far is exactly the same thing

nothing is changing.

Sure you might take the danger out for a second

but it always comes back

it may be

peaceful for a second, then

chaos will come back

I know you think your punishment is working

well it isn't.

Fools "Get in trouble"

then leave on a mandatory vacation

while my mind is breaking

hoping I don't ever need to see their faces

again

but I do

they comeback and torment me just the same

do you see what I mean

it's been like this

up in the years

till fifteen

I've had a mental breakdown every month

yearly

my mom staggered back

tears streaming down her face.

Then she threw herself on the floor

asking for forgiveness

and I left her there

kneeling on the floor.

I grabbed my coat,

turned away,

and left out the door...