V: Five Scars

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Zayn used to be immune to hangovers when he first started drinking at the ripe young age of sixteen.

Sixteen; the age that he had his first kiss – well, first real kiss. Where it actually meant something, where he felt more than just feelings of excitement rush through his veins.

Sixteen; when he first sat behind the wheel of a car.

It was a time for a lot of 'firsts' in his life. Moments that he cherished and would always remember – good and bad.

He rolled over. His hair sticking up in angry directions.

He doesn't know where things went downhill. He was only twenty-two. Maybe what his dad always used to joke about things going downhill after you turn twenty-one was actually coming true.

He lay in bed and even with a pounding headache thought about his twenty-first birthday. That was supposed to be the birthday of all birthdays. You're finally seen as an adult all over the world. You're supposed to go all out, go wild, have an absolute blast of a night with the best people around you.

He rolled over again and grabbed his phone. It was almost twenty-past seven and he didn't want to think about this right now.

What were those movies Harry had told him about?

Titanic.

Everyone knew about the doomed ship.

He reached over to his desk and pulled his laptop off of it to stream the movie, choosing not to move from his bed for the rest of the day, but not to let it go completely to waste.

***

"I've made an appointment at the tattoo shop. I was wondering if you could come with? Uhm, today... like in half an hour."

Harry is pleasantly surprised and nods immediately. Of course he'd accompany Zayn. There's nothing more he'd love to do – plus he does love tattoos himself. "Of course! So, what are you getting, then?"

"You'll see when we get there."

When they walk into the shop they're greeted by an unknown rock song as well as a slim built man with shaggy auburn hair and tattoos and piercings all over his face and body. He's busy sketching something big when his hand stills and he looks up at the pair that have just walked in. "Zayn?" He asks and places his pencil down, emerging from behind the counter to greet them.

"Yea, hi. This is my friend, Harry."

"What's up? Louis." The artist greets both of them and then heads over to grab his laptop. "So, this is what you wanted, right?" Louis asks and turns the laptop to show Zayn.

It's a picture of a geometric wolf head with the sun above it. Harry visibly gawks and he swears that the wolf resembles Zayn to a tee.

"That's perfect, yea." Zayn admires and Louis smiles, happy that he has a pleased customer on his hands.

"Now, where are we putting this?"

Zayn's anxiety starts to act up again. "I have a few scar that I was hoping to cover up." He says softly and pulls up his soccer shorts to expose his marred skin. Harry frowns and his lips part as he lays eyes on the various numbers of thick and thin lines that cover Zayn's thigh, but he doesn't say a thing, he just folds his arms tighter over his chest.

"Sure." Louis bends to get a look at Zayn's thigh to make sure that the dimensions of the tattoo will be perfect. Zayn can't look at Louis nor can he at Harry right now so he just stay staring at the tiled floors beneath everyone's shoes. If Louis' judging him, he makes a damn good job at hiding his features for he's up in a second and getting on with things like normal. Zayn's thankful that he can drop his shorts again even though he knows that it won't last for long. He turns to look at Harry who gives him a reassuring smile. "Okay, come through." Louis leads them to the tattooing room where the music gets louder. Harry sees the stereo on a desk and a collection of CD's scattered around it.

"The design is really cool." Harry says, the room is far too silent for his liking – even with the music on.

"Yea. I drew the outline of it and sent it to Louis to have him do the rest." Zayn says and Harry's eyebrows casually rise.

"You did that? Wow. You're really good." He grins and his dimples come into full view.

After grabbing what he needed, Louis', asking Zayn to roll up his shorts again so that he can disinfect and shave the area. The medicinal smell of the disinfectant reminds both Zayn and Harry of a hospital – neither of them like it. When Louis' done shaving Zayn, he goes to the printer to get the piece of art. He stares at the stencil with a concentrated frown as he makes sure that it covers everything that Zayn wants it to cover and is perfectly straight. "How's that?" He lets Zayn turn to look at his reflection in the full length mirror.

Zayn nods as he stares at himself. "That's great."

"Perfect. Have a seat and we'll get started." Louis outstretches his hand.

Nerves start to kick in as soon as Zayn hears the buzz of the tattoo gun. A lump forms in his throat and he wonders if he's made the right decision.

Harry grabs a stool and pulls it next to Zayn so that he can sit next to him. "Don't be nervous. It's not that bad." He assures.

"You have any besides that one?" Zayn asks with a nervous chuckle as he stares at the cross on Harry's hand.

"Seven."

It takes Zayn by surprise. They must all be hidden, he thinks as he looks at Harry's beige sweater.

"This your first?" Louis asks with a small smile as he continues to ready the machine and Zayn very so nearly squeaks out a small 'yes'. "Just tell me if you need a break, yea?" he asks and Zayn nods. "Not gonna lie to ya, it's probably going to be a bit uncomfortable. I'll do a small line so you can see what it'll be like. Ready?"

Oh God, okay. This is it.

Zayn nods and tells himself that it can't be that bad. Louis is covered in them and Harry has seven, so really, how bad can it – when the needle digs in it feels like the first time he pressed a razor to his skin to hurt himself.

"You okay?" Harry asks but Zayn doesn't hear him.

"How's that?" Louis asks as he wipes the area.

"Fine." Zayn lies and Louis leans down to really get to work, he reminds Zayn once again to let him know if and when he needs a break. Zayn's gripping the leather armrest of the chair with all of his might.

"Hey," Harry stroke his arm and offers his hand for Zayn to squeeze – but he doesn't take it. He's already got some light perspiration on his upper lip that keeps coming back no matter how many times he wipes away at it. As the needles travels over his scar tissue, it feels like his old wounds are being opened up again.

"Why a wolf?" Harry asks trying to get Zayn's mind off of the pain.

"It's a strong animal – Uh, I watched Titanic the other day." He laughs. He can't speak about the tattoo at the moment, it's just too much.

"Oh yea?" Harry smiles and leans on the arm that he offered to Zayn. He also noted how much softer Zayn had said that to him. "And?"

"It was... a little predictable."

"What?"

"Kind of 'Romeo and Juliet', don't you think?"

"Uhm, no. It's one of the most treasured love stories – for a completely different reason from Romeo and Juliet's love story."

"They could have shared the door?"

"It would have sunk under both their body weight." Harry says with a smug smile. That's why he liked the movie, because of the selfless sacrifice. He couldn't help but be a hopeless romantic.

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