The Happiest Days of Our Lives ↠ zarry AU

IX: Nine Stars

All that Zayn could hear was the dull, yet rapid sound of a dial tone – no, not a dial tine but instead his heavy pulse which was drowning out all of his mother's words as she spoke to whoever it was on the other end of the line.

Her face remained cool and calm. A demeanour that she had learned to adapt after the news of Zayn's father hit her that day. She placed a strong and steady hand on Zayn's shoulder – but it may as well have been a feather that had danced through the wind and landed gracefully on him for he couldn't feel a thing. Not her loving touch or supportive warmth that radiated off of her.

"It's alright, just give him the proper injection and if the bleeding doesn't stop take him to the hospital. I'll call you later on to check in on things." It seemed that Trisha had taken the role of the mother to everyone around her. She cut the call, a steely gaze fixated on the phone until she placed it back on the table, in its rightful place; only when she turned to Zayn did her face soften. "He's alright." Is the first thing that she says to her son who has turned as cold as ice and as white as a ghost. It reminded her of the day that he was born.

Zayn had given his parents a heart attack when he was born because he came out looking ten shades too light – being able to pass for a whole different race, he also had an extremely low body temperature – having everyone around him start to fear the worst.

"Harry had a nosebleed and instead of giving him something to stop that, Gemma accidentally gave him blood thinners. She panicked and hit redial on one of the last numbers in Harry's call list."

Zayn felt like he had all the air knocked out of him. He slumped into his mothers' arms and completely broke down, unloading days and days of stress and dread. Trisha soothed him, telling him softly that it was okay – that it was going to be okay.

"I'm so sorry." Harry had called later on – he had messaged Zayn first, where he made the opening apology. "I don't know what happened. I started sneezing and I couldn't stop," He laughed – making Zayn laugh. "And then it just all went to shit. Gemma panicked – I panicked and we both fumbled."

"Has it stopped?" Zayn interjected.

"Yea."

"Maybe you should go to the hospital tomorrow just to be sure –"

"I'm sure everything's okay, Zayn. I'm tired of that place." He looked at his clock and saw that almost an hour had passed since the spectacle. "Tell your mum I'm sorry for waking her –"

"It's alright. She's already knocked out again."

".. I better go, let you get back to sleep too."

"I wasn't asleep."

"Why not?" Harry asked and threw the last bloodied tissue into the bin once he was positive that his nose was completely back to normal.

"I just – I don't know. I couldn't fall asleep tonight."

"Well, go try now... I'll be okay, I promise" Harry said softly, not really wanting to put the phone down after all. Reluctantly he and Zayn both did after tired – not from sleep deprivation but rather, stress – goodbyes were exchanged.

2 months later...

Zayn sat on his roof with his back pressed against the wall, overlooking the calm night sky. The moon was bright and felt closer than it had ever been in a long, long time, as if it were offering a very special spotlight to Zayn.

He looked up at the stars and saw them sparkle and shine bright. Some of them – most of them twinkled erratically and it felt like this was the first time that he saw a star actually flicker. Maybe it was just the first time that he actually stopped to pay attention to the night sky and the sky alone instead of getting lost in his own dismal thoughts. The stillness of it all got him thinking about something he had never really given himself time to think about before. I don't think many people understand that this is the only life that they have; this one small shot is all they have to make it count. It's all they're given – and it could be taken away in a split second ...it's why it should be lived to the fullest." 

He began to count, just like he would when he was younger, one.. two... three.. four.. five...... six.. seven.. eight... nine - 

"Tea?" Harry's voice interrupted Zayn's thoughts. He hung through the window, passing him the two mugs before he climbed out and sat next to Zayn. He was given the news that he was officially in remission last week. To say that everyone was relieved and overjoyed was a great understatement. He still had radiation appointments that left him feeling less than lively and a little depressed, but he was just as happy to slowly start to get back to his normal self.

"I think the world would be a better place if everyone just took the time out each night to look at the stars."

Harry waited for a humorous snort or sassy comeback, but Zayn just sat still with warm mug in hand, gazing up. "You know... I didn't think that it would happen this fast."

"What?" Harry asked with a slight frown.

"Growing up. I didn't think that it would feel like it happened overnight – and it really does feel like it... Nothing from the past feels like it ever existed and I just can't help but to wonder if it's letting go – not letting go but,"

"Acceptance?"

"Understanding."

Zayn and Harry said simultaneously. Silence hung around them and Harry was just about to apologise when something held his tongue back.

"Yea." Zayn nodded, "that... I thought I knew back then, what I wanted... and I was so sure of my decisions. Of every single one of them, but now I don't think that I can say that I was right about that."

"You don't have to be. I don't think anyone's got everything figured out – no matter what they go through."

"I get that now." Zayn whispered more to himself than Harry.

And I think that this is what growing up must be. It's maturing and letting go of all that anger, hate and sadness because you learn that it has nothing to offer you even though you've kept it with you for years and years because you see how it only comes to bring you pain. It's about pushing forward no matter how hard things are, no matter how hard they continue to get. Resilience. And you take care of yourself and take time to yourself allow yourself to grow and learn and deal because life is too short to let the pain win and harden you. It's too short to throw your softness away and become something we were never destined to be.

Finding your identity, who you are, what you like. Learning what makes you angry, what you're good at, what you're bad at. Being okay with that, being okay with you. It's allowing yourself to have negative thoughts and bad feelings, but not letting it consume you, not letting it win.

"Hey," Harry straightened and shuffled, getting ready to stand up. "I think we should go watch The Breakfast Club." Zayn agreed and stood up, making sure to slosh some of his tea out of its mug while on the way up. "I think that this is the start of a beautiful friendship."

Harry joked as he climbed back inside.

"Wrong movie and, we've been best mates for too long for it to be the start." Zayn said with a lopsided grin as he shut the window, missing the bashful smile that was on Harry's face as he got out the laptop.