Random and Funny things ;D

Random and Funny things 3

- The awkward moment when your telling a story but realize no one was listening so you slowly fade out and act like you didn't say anything.

- My parents accused me of lying today. I looked at them and said " Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, Santa Claus" and walked away like a BOSS.

- 'Sarcasm' because beating the crap out of people is illegal.

- Next time I'm in a elevator with five or six people, I'm going to look sternly around and say"I suppose your all wondering why I gathered you here." XD

- I told my ex I feel like killing him, and he said I needed professional help...So I hired a hit-man.

- Sleepover at a friend's house. Wake up the next day. Realize that everyone else is sleeping. Spend three hours looking at the ceiling.

- When people see you lying down with your eyes closed and ask "Are you sleeping?" it's like "No. I'm training to die!".

- Sometimes I wish I could be one of my friends for one day, to see how awesome it would be to hang out with me;]

- We all have that one friend who secretly pisses us off.

- You ever want to just grab someone and say, WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!

- I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they are like "Hey, what are you doing here?" and I'm just like "Oh you know, hunting mammoths!".

- Not laughing at a joke because you don't like the person who told it.

- Listening to someones story and thinking lie, lie, lie and lie.

- Once you start to dislike someone. Everything they do starts to annoy you.

- The awkward moment when a zombie is looking for brains and it walks straight past you.

-  Dear Millionaires,                                                                                                                                     If you don't have a bookshelf that spins into another room, give me all your money because your spending it wrong.

- When you wake up at 2-3am without any reason, there's an 85% chance that someone is staring at you.

- The funny moment when you laugh even harder when you try to explain why you are laughing.

- The awkward moment when your parents try to make your friends laugh.

- Why do we feel safer under blankets? It's not like a murderer would come in thinking "I'm gonna k...-ahhh damn! She's underneath the blanket."

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Thanks for reading <3 I hope it was funny! If it wasn't or you have some awkward moments that you think I should add please tell me anyways um yeah thanks again.....um yeah....'Awkward' nah Cee Yah ;D