Chapter 5
(Your POV)
I look at him and smiled brightly. My smile soon faded when I realized what was going on. Im hurt. Im hurt mentally.
I want to remember everything and I want to figure myself out again but he doesn't deserve all the trouble it will put him through.
Taylor is supposed to be my boyfriend, but things are different now. Things that he cant help.
I can tell he really loves me. I can see it in his eyes when he looks at me. It hurts me to say it but I cant put him through this.
He deserves much more than to spend his life trying to get me to remember things I will never remember. To feel things that I cant feel.
I need to do the right thing. I need to go home. I need to meet my family. They can help me. Taylor deserves better.
I guess I could say I really care about people and what happens to them, even if I dont know them.
It hurts me to see people suffer. And right now, Taylor is suffering and there is nothing I can do about it except leave.
He needs space. He needs time to heal and move on because I know he wont be able to face the fact that I wont and cant remember the things that he does.
"Taylor, I appreciate what you have done and how much you care. You seem like a very nice boy who any girl would be fortunate enough to be with. Im sorry, but I cant be that girl. Im just not the same.
The things you remember I wont and neither I nor you can fix that. This is really hard for me to say because I want to trust you, but you dont deserve to suffer.
You shouldn't have to help me through this. My life is different now and I dont want that to change yours," I said practically crying.
His eyes filled with tears as he paced around the room. He finally looked at me and said, "Don't you understand?! My life is nothing without you! I have nothing to live for if you leave. Baby I love you! Nothing, not even distance will change that. If you leave, my life is over. I cant live without you (y/n).
I want you to remember the things I remember. I want you to know the things about yourself that only I can tell you! I want to be here for you through every moment because you mean everything to me!
I wont suffer if you stay. Ill only suffer when you leave," he said looking me straight in the eyes.
I look at him and sigh sadly, "I really appreciate how much you care and I can never repay you for what you have done and are willing to sacrifice for me, but you have to understand that I cant stay. I cant stay with you. Its just too hard. You need a normal life. One without me," I said burying my head in my pillow.
Apparently we were shouting extremely loud because a nurse came in the room concerned. "Is everything ok in here?!" she said.
"Nothing. Everything is fine. I was just leaving," Taylor said sounding calm. I heard his footsteps move towards the door.
"I hope you find out what you're hoping to know about yourself. Goodbye (y/n)," Taylor said exiting the hospital room.
"What have I just done?" I say starting to cry loudly. Why did I care so much?
