Ambivalence, the coexistence of opposite feelings like love or hate towards a person. Ambivalence is all I feel anymore. Towards who, I don't know. I have mixed feelings about everyone these days.
I scribble these words in a notebook, hoping it will remind me one day on how I was feeling. Then my cell rings, filling my once silent room with an obnoxiously joyous chime. I check the screen and see its Claire's number. I really don't want to talk to her after the whole dragging me out to watch her try on dresses, but I reluctantly answer it anyway.
"Hello?" I answer the phone, holding the cell up to my ear.
"Jocelyn darling!" Claire responds in an ecstatic tone.
"Yes?" I reply in a monotone voice. I know the only reason she would talk to me is if she wants something from me.
"Babe, who are you talking to?" I hear that familiar, strong voice that could only belong to Gavin. It causes me to shiver. Just when he isn't in my head he finds a way to get back into it. I hate him for it, but love it all the same. Curse the ambivalence.
"Just Jocelyn," Claire answers him then returns talking to me, "I figured I should fill you in on all the details of the wedding."
I laugh to keep the conversation light hearted, "Yes that would be helpful..." Seriously though, you need to get on your game Claire. I know absolutely nothing on this wedding. How else am I suppose to help, you dummy.
"Well as you know already the wedding is on June fifteenth. That leaves us roughly two weeks to throw everything together. Good thing Gavin says you're a miracle worker!" Claire laughs a bit in the phone, I don't find it that funny since I'll be working my butt off. She continues, "The ceremony will take place on a private beach my dad owns so we'll need to go there and plan out the design soon."
A private beach?! My eyes widen at the thought of even owning such a thing. I wonder if I grew up like Claire would I be a totally different person? I can't even relate to someone as rich as her, but yet here I am as her maid of honor. The only thing I guess I can relate to is that we both love Gavin.
"Oh! And the reception will be at my dad's friend's garden estate. It is absolutely to die for Jocelyn! They host receptions there all the time. The deal is a five star catering company even comes with the place. Add onto that, the inside has Roman arc structures and is so well polished," Claire lists off so excited. I can practically hear the excitement radiating through my phone and trying to affect me. I don't want to hear about it right now...
"Sounds like a dream," I say, trying to sound as honest as possible. I know I sound nice on the outside most time, but I wish I could be sincerely kind about the situation on the inside. I heard everything she said, but my mind can only focus on one thing and that's him. Does Gavin want such an extravagant wedding?
"Well marriage is a dream come true," Claire sighs dreamily, "especially when you're marrying a man like Gavin."
Ugh that's it I can't take her dream sequence any longer. "So what do you need me to do?" I ask, changing the subject.
I hear Claire drop the phone but then quickly pick it back up, "Well tomorrow I figured we should check out the ceremony space."
"What time?" I say, cutting to the chase pretty fast.
"How about four since that will be the time of the actual ceremony."
"Sounds great. I'll see you then Claire, goodnight." With that I end the phone call abruptly before she can even tell me goodnight.
And here I was hoping that I would get the opportunity to lounge in my pajamas for the whole day tomorrow. It was the only thing I was looking forward to being laid off, but it looks like I have a new job now.
YOU ARE READING
The Roller Coaster Wedding
Dla nastolatkówJocelyn Todd has been best friends with Gavin Harris since college. It has been three years since their college days and five years that Jocelyn has held in her secret love for Gavin. But now Gavin is getting married and Jocelyn is the Maid of Honor...
