Unsent Letters of the Heart 2

34 - A Letter from a Woman Who Has Finally Moved On

 One of the most courageous decisions you'll ever make is when you finally let go of what's hurting your heart and soul. And that is exactly what I did.

I fell in love with you unexpectedly, and I know you did, too. It has been a rough couple of weeks for the both us since the day we decided to end what we had. I couldn't imagine a day without talking to you. I thought I couldn't make it without you, but I was wrong.

Day by day, little by little, I was able to teach myself to forget you—to forget what we had and to forget all the feelings.

On the first two weeks, I tried really, really hard not to think about you, but it seems like everything I see reminds me of you. Believe it or not, I tried so much not to text, message you on chat, or call you. Although there are days when I really couldn't help it. There are nights when I listen to our songs, and let alcohol wash away the pain as I think about our past.

I was hurt badly. I never thought this would happen to me. I was very strong. I was very guarded. My walls were always up. But you, you destroyed that wall, you made me surrender everything. And with a blink of an eye, everything was over.

It's a blessing that my work assignment was changed. It prevented us from seeing each other at work. We both had avoided being stuck in awkward situations, and most of all, it gave us time to heal our broken hearts.

Now, here we are, three months after, we see each other again at work. There was a part of me that was expecting to see you again. I told myself, if you'll be working that day, then it could be a sign that we can still be friends. Yes you were there, but you didn't say "hi" or "hello."

I remember that we kept on avoiding each other, but I caught you stealing glances at me. And yes, I did the same with you.

That encounter felt awkward. But there is one thing I realized that day—I have finally moved on. I don't feel hurt anymore. I just felt bad that we couldn't be friends.

A week after that, you unfollowed me on Instagram,and I did not know what to feel. I didn't know if I was mad or hurt. It bothered me for a few hours, but I made up my mind to ask you the next time we meet again.

I felt nervous to come to you and ask, but I found the right timing. I stood close to you and exchanged greetings. We tried catching up with each other's lives until I finally had the courage to tease you about why you unfollowed me on Instagram. You said it was because of the things I posted there–and we just laughed about it.

Then, we spoke about "us."

You wanted to know how I was doing – if I was okay and happy, and I am glad to say that I am.

I moved on. I am okay.

We agreed that we can still talk. But no more direct messages, calls, and texts. We'll just talk whenever we have the chance at work.

Finally, after a few months, I can proudly say that I am really okay—that I have really moved forward.

I'm proud that I can still be friends with you.

After everything that has happened, one thing is for sure, I can still see something in your blue eyes that will remind me of how special we were to each other.

All the memories that we had together will surely be in heart forever.

To you, my Pedro, thank you for the memories–good and bad.

Thank you for the friendship that we have now. I hope we can keep it this way, and I wish you all the best.  

https://www.femalenetwork.com/relationships/a-woman-who-has-finally-moved-on-a508-20160425