Not My Alpha (Completed)

Chapter Thirty-Two - What a Pleasant Surprise

I held myself for a few fleeting moments, attempting to gather my thoughts into something I could comprehend. When it didn't work, I groaned and threw my head back, staring at my brother. 

"I could seriously use you right now, Will."

His blank features remained the same, unaffected by my plea. I had grown to expect this though, so it didn't thwart me. Weeks of not having him around trained me to expect silence. I learned to fill it though, my one-sided conversations helping cut through the void left behind.

I started to speak again but quickly stopped myself, remembering Samuel. Knowing him, he would be waiting just outside the door, listening to every word that left my mouth. This was beyond frustrating, considering the very thing I wanted to speak to Will about was the dog himself. 

My fingers found their way to my temples. A headache was coming on, but I knew it wasn't from my injuries. Samuel's actions were sending my body into overdrive. If I knew what to expect from him, I could prepare for and easily handle it. But, with him switching back and forth from controlling my life to taking care of my problems and family, I couldn't keep up. I had so many questions and so many conflicting emotions that I didn't know what to do with them. 

On the one hand, I knew Samuel's actions were sincere. I could tell that much. With Samuel, whatever he was feeling was usually plastered on his face. Unless he was careful, I was able to read his every emotion. As far as I could tell, his intentions were genuine. The things he'd done for me since we'd been back home were what one might expect from someone trying to show they care.

On the other hand, everything I'd ever been through pointed to werewolves being incapable of caring. They took over the world, and all the creatures in it, to gain power and control. They slaughtered anything that could breathe, tore apart families, and built a world revolving around their needs and their needs alone. Nothing and no one else mattered. They were ruthless, coldhearted, and controlling. 

But, lately, Samuel hadn't been any of those things. There were times that he terrified me and times that I saw the animal inside of him, but on the surface, it seemed as though there was something more than an animalistic need to dominate. After all, there was no gain from him taking care of me or my family. His actions held no profit for himself.

I shook my head, trying again to clear it. It was a near-impossible task. Letting my troubles slip away took a few minutes, and only when I looked at my brother did the stress finally melt off of me. 

"You're looking a lot better," I whispered to him, bringing my hand to his arm. "You sure have missed a lot."

I was silent for a while, watching and listening to his even breaths. The urge to tell him everything that happened was growing. Because of this, I opened and closed my mouth multiple times, searching for anything I could say that would relieve my stress.

"I got out, you know. I made it." I spoke so softly, I could barely hear myself. When I opened my mouth again, the words came as easily as a breath of fresh air. "I made it pretty far, actually. It was wonderful, Will. Everything was so green. For a while, it was only me out there." I smiled to myself, but it was quickly wiped away. "I would have made it all the way, too, but you know me. I'm always screwing things up."

My lungs let out all the air they'd been holding, but that somehow only made me feel heavier. I glanced at the door, knowing who lurked beyond it was part of the reason. 

"I'm back now, for good," I spoke again, my voice lowering considerably. It was back to nothing more than a faint whisper. "We'll all be safe, and that's what matters. Nothing else. Everything from before," I trailed off, thinking of the plans Will and I shared for our family's escape. "It doesn't matter."