The Problem with Blue (#opennovellacontest)

Chapter 5

I'm standing on the front porch to my own house peeking in through the living room window like a criminal. The television is off which means my dad is already in bed. The light is on in the kitchen which means my mom may still be up, but at the very worst she'll pepper me with stupid questions about why I missed breakfast and dinner. I slip through the front door and creep up the stairs as quick as possible. I can hear noise in my room and open the door to find Miles laying on my bed watching tv and eating popcorn in the dark.

"Hey," he says, only glancing away from his show for a second.

"Hey. Why aren't you with Alex?"

"Nice to see you too," he says, quirking up an eyebrow.

"You know what I mean," I say, scooping a wadded up t-shirt off the floor and throwing it at him.

"He took Kate to a late show. My parents are home this weekend so I'm staying here. Lilly was here waiting for you so you would take her out too, but she left about an hour ago."

"How pissed was she that I was late?"

"Very."

"Lovely." I immediately drop my bag and peel my off jeans and throw on my pair of anime pajama pants and a hoodie.

"Where did you go after school?"

"To play piano with Jace."

"This entire time?" he questions. "It's 9:30."

"I'm learning a new song," I shrug. "Shove over or get on the floor."

He scoots over to the other side of the full sized bed, taking half of the pillows with him. I want to argue, but I don't have any fight left in me for the day. Talking to Jace was the right thing to do, if not emotionally exhausting. It was a difficult talk that made me face some things I don't want to, but now I'm no longer drowning in that frantic stress-out mood I've been in for so long. Having my head clear is a benefit I haven't had for a while.

"Any more letters?"

I groan and throw my arm over my eyes. "No."

"Do you want more letters?"

I chew on my bottom lip as I think about everything that Jace said about looking at the letters differently. Who do I want them to be from?

"Yeah, I think I do."

We lay there in silence rewatching the first season of Stranger Things for the millionth time. My phone is beside me on the bed and I can feel the vibrations from text messages, but I don't look because it's pretty easy to guess who they're from. I'll deal with the fallout tomorrow, but for tonight, I plan just to pretend she's not there.

"You're going to have to face her at some point, Finn."

"She should be what I want, Miles. Why isn't she? If I could just figure that out, I feel like everything else will fall into place. The more I think about it, the further away I get from the answer."

"Why does the reason matter so much to you?"

"Because I owe her. I owe her the life that we're supposed to live together. Some things you just can't take back, and this is one of them."

"Who told you that?" he asks. "Because they were lying to you. Sometimes love doesn't work out. Sometimes there isn't a reason or blame, it just isn't right."

"I can't handle anyone else being disappointed in me. Can you even imagine what my parents would do?"

"There are plenty worse parents," he replies quietly.